The “K Street Project” TM

Just a couple of months ago, as the Abramoff scandal was picking up steam and lawmakers were anxious to recast themselves as champions of reform, the Republicans’ “[tag]K Street Project[/tag]” was seen as Exhibit A in the culture of corruption.

John Boener campaigned to be House Majority Leader on an anti-K Street Project platform, telling his colleagues, “If I am elected majority leader, there will no longer be a K Street Project, or anything else like it.” Rick [tag]Santorum[/tag], who helped lead the project, was so embarrassed by the initiative that he went into complete denial, telling reporters, “I had absolutely nothing to do — never met, never talked, never coordinated, never did anything — with Grover Norquist and the – quote — K Street Project.” It was untrue, of course, but helped highlight just how radioactive the Project had become.

It also helps explain why this is completely hilarious.

Conservative activist [tag]Grover Norquist[/tag] is seeking a trademark on “K Street Project,” saying Democrats and Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) have wrongfully acquired the term to describe unethical practices that have nothing to do with his organization.

Far from running away from the term, as most other Republicans have since January, when lobbyist Jack Abramoff agreed to plead guilty to corruption charges, [tag]Norquist[/tag] is embracing it.

As Norquist told The Hill, “Some people say Kleenex when they mean tissue. We will jealously guard the real phrasing the way Kleenex and Coca-Cola do. We will sue anyone who says it wrong and make lots of money.”

Which part of this is the most ridiculous is entirely up to you. Josh seems to think it’s the obvious contradiction between this trademark effort and Norquist’s “unbridled libertarianism,” while I’m still stuck on Norquist’s desire to embrace a notoriously corrupt employment scheme and file “junk lawsuits” over it. Either way, Norquist is beyond parody.

This gives Dems an opportunity to re-brand the K Street Project (TM). Instead of the K Street Project (TM) we can now call it something more accurate like Republican Special Interest Corruption Plan or Republicans Selling Freedom to Corporate Multinationals. I need something with a better acronym. Corrupt Republicans & Abramoff Project (C.R.A.P.)?

As a side note, over lunch I will be trademarking the following words and phrases: “Democrat party”, “Tax and Spend”, and “Bleeding Heart”. Please cease and desist the use of these phrases this afternoon or I will sick my lawyers on you and make myself so much money I can afford to use “K Street Project” at will and just direct deposit funds into Norquist’s Election coffers.

  • This is pure evil genius. Once “The K Street Project” is trademarked by Norquist, Republican Senators and Congressmen who have worked to drive out Democrats form K Street can deny, without technically lying, that they are a part of the project, because it will be a very specific brand owned by Norquist. Norquist can come out say, for example, “those weekly breakfast meetings that Santorum holds, they aren’t sanctioned by me as part of the K Street Project.”

  • CB –

    I think Norquist’s thinking is that somehow, he can prevent his political opponents from using the term if it’s trademarked.

    And if he does, he’s an even bigger idiot than I realized.

    Trademarking a phrase won’t prevent a Democrat from referring to the “K Street Project” in a campaign flyer. It only prevents someone from using it to identify a commercial product.

    But that won’t stop Norquist from threatening to file one of those frivolous lawsuits Republicans hate.

    It’s fun watching these morans self-destruct.

  • Seems to me that branding The K Street Project® ties it even tighter to the repubs. Grover has drifted into his alternate universe. Maybe all this up is downism has had a permanent effect.

  • What do you expect from someone saddled with the name “Grover Norquist” at birth??? Can you imagine the kidding this little idiot got in elementary and junior high? “Oh, there’s Grow-verrrr”

    And his entire career has been to do what he’s done in spite of them all.

  • Here’s another thought:

    If he trademarks it, then we can call it “Grover Norquist’s K Street Project.” It will be completely totally legally accurate, he can’t complain or file a frivolous lawsuit, and we can segue from there to a discussion of who he is and what he represents.

  • Great idea, kali. Wouldn’t Grover Norquist look stunning in prison garb? I mean, really……

  • My grandfather was a Nordstrom and my grandmother was a LIndquist, so I think this whole Norquist business belongs to me.

    (Sadly no, he did not own a department store)

  • JC is correct. You can “brand” a written name by trademarking it, but you can’t stop people from using the name in conversation. Otherwise every time any of us said “Coca-Cola,” we’d either have to say “TM” immediately after, or we would (to use the words of the immortal Bat Guano) “have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.”

  • I’m pretty sure that, since the phrase “K Street Project” has been used in floor-discussions (in both chambers of Congress) that it’s now in what we might refer to as “the public domain.” It’s about as nonsensical as Donald Trump trade-marking the words, “You’re Fired.”

    “K Street Project” has also appeared innumerable times in newspapers, magazines, radio segments, television broadcasts—all of which are protected under U.S. Copyright Law. The “electronic version” protects pre-existing, online usage of the term. All one has to do is “cite” the source from which the phrase has been borrowed from.

    Norquist is blowing smoke and running in circles—and it’s quite difficult to “circle the wagons” when you’ve only got one wagon—and no horse….

  • Would this be a good time to ask Grover about his alleged
    lobbying on behalf of Arab terrorists? That story seems to have
    gone away and needs to be brought back to the public’s attention.
    Or maybe he can work on trying to trademark the phrase
    “Arab terrorist” or “lobbyist.” It seems Grover doesn’t have enough
    sensible things to do these days to keep him busy. Maybe having
    him testify before a Congressional committee about his nefarioius
    actions could be arranged to give him a legitimate way to use his
    time.

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