The ‘Oscars of Idiocy’

August 26, 2006

My friends at the World Stupidity Awards emailed this week to let me know about their fourth annual event, with winners to be announced on Sept. 20.

There are quite a few noteworthy categories and nominees, but I had a few favorites.

* Stupidest Man Of The Year — Donald Thompson (District Judge – a.k.a. Oklahoma Penis Pump Judge); Michael Brown (former director of FEMA); Kim Jong Il (North Korean dictator); Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran); Dick Cheney (Vice President of the United States).

* Stupidity Award For Making A Stupid Situation Stupider — Mel Gibson offering to urinate on the floor following his arrest for drunk driving; Britney Spears almost dropping her baby after driving dangerously with him twice, and then talking about it on TV; Nick Flynn trips on his shoelaces, falls down a set of stairs and smashes three priceless antique Chinese vases in a museum, Flynn then criticized the museum for not taking better care of its displays; the Bush Administration in Iraq; Deciding not to tell anyone after Vice President Dick Cheney shoots his friend.

* Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance — Danish Newspaper, Jyllands-Posten; The Name Radio Format (Bob, Jack, Tom etc.); Fox News; The Colbert Report; Rush Limbaugh.

* Stupidest Statement By President George W. Bush — “I’m the decider, and I decide what is best”; “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job”; “Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?” to legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten; “Wow! Brazil is big,” after being shown a map of Brazil by Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva; “It’s in our country’s interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm’s way.”

You know, I’d kind of forgotten about the Brazilian one.

The Colbert Report furthers ignorance? Well, I suppose it could if you don’t really get the premise of the show… but if you don’t, why are you watching it at all?

  • Here is a video link from Slate for “It’s in our country’s interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm’s way.”

    “It’s in our country’s interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm’s way.”—Washington, D.C., April 28, 2005

    Click here to see video of Bush’s comments. The Bushism is at 46:40.

    Consider the “harm’s way” quote along side this one.

    “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”—Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

    Taken together the first quote makes an odd sort of sense. Bush is just looking out for his own.

  • “Wow! Brazil is big,”

    Didn’t the Deciderer say the same thing about Russia a few weeks ago? Who woulda thunk there were so many big countries?

  • Having for the first time on a non-science channel seen an interview with a theoretical physicist on the Colbert Report Thursday night, I have to dispute this entry. But then some people think the Marx brothers were stupid. Humor is personal.

  • I think your friends may find themseves “On Notice” when The Colbert Report returns in two weeks. It’s a shame how stupid this administration and in a way this country looks. This is why we truly need a democratic revolution in November.

  • Taken together the first quote makes an odd sort of sense. Bush is just looking out for his own.

    Could Bush’s idiot act really be just an act? Could he really have meant it in this way? His behavior is certainly consistent with “me and my buddies are gonna destroy the world, but we better make sure we don’t shoot ourselves in the process.”

  • I was always kind of partial to “I met the Palestinian Finance Minister this morning, and I was very impressed with his knowledge of finance”. That was, of course, when we could still be good-humoured about anything involving Bush and Palestine.

  • They do know that the colbert report is a comedy show right? Why not toss the daily show on there too 🙁

  • I’m with previous commenters about the Colbert Report. To say that a comedy show “furthers ignorance” has no meaning in the context of the Stupid Awards. I’m assuming that the point of this particular category is to highlight the self-defeating role of news organizations (which are supposed to spread truth), and not comedy shows (which are supposed to spread mirth).

    Now, if Colbert was nominated for an award for spreading dullness (which it would have no chance of winning), that would be noteworthy.

    Is dullness the right word? It’s whatever is the opposite of funny: unfunniness?

  • Brand W-It’s the Dan Quayle Presidency that never happened! Or did you ever wonder what it would be like if Dan Quayle won the Presidency? Brand W is showing you the way! LOL

    Well, you have to laugh sometimes. It keeps you from realizing just how screwed up everything is right now.

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