The Scott McClellan Dictionary

During yesterday’s [tag]White House[/tag] press briefing, [tag]Scott McClellan[/tag], facing a barrage of confrontational questions, preferred to answer questions that weren’t being asked. At one point, he told a reporter, “I think we’re talking past each other a little bit.”

[tag]McClellan[/tag] made the comment with a bit of smirk — he knew he was stonewalling, and he knew that the reporters knew it, too — but the breakdown in communications between the press secretary and the press corps can be fixed. All they need is a handy-dandy McClellan-to-English dictionary.

* “[tag]Public interest[/tag]” — as in, “Declassifying information and providing it to the public, when it is in the public interest, is one thing.” This refers to leaks that help the [tag]president[/tag] politically.

* “[tag]National Security[/tag]” — as in, “Leaking [tag]classified[/tag] information that could compromise our national security is something that is very serious.” This refers to leaks that make Bush look bad.

* “Crass Politics” — as in, “The Democrats have a credibility problem when they try to suggest that we were manipulating intelligence, or that this is about something other than what I just said. That’s crass politics.” For McClellan, this refers to any effort that points out the White House’s mendacity.

* “Providing information” — as in, “There is a difference between providing declassified information to the public when it’s in the public interest, and leaking classified information that involves sensitive national intelligence regarding our security.” This is a euphemism to help McClellan avoid using the word “leak.”

* “[tag]Leak[/tag]” — Something Bush is incapable of doing and/or authorizing.

* “Context” — as in, when Bush said, “I constantly express my displeasure with leaks, particularly classified leaks,” McClellan explained, “That was in the context of people leaking classified information.” In this sense, “context” means Bush can say things he doesn’t really mean, and the nation should accept that or run the risk of falling into pre-9/11 thinking.

* “Ongoing legal proceedings” — as in, “That’s a question that gets into talking about an ongoing legal proceeding, and I just can’t do that because the policy of this White House is that we are not going to comment on it while it’s ongoing.” This refers to questions that are difficult to answer and/or point to White House misconduct.

* “Facts” — as in, “What I’m talking about is the facts.” This refers to information of dubious accuracy that Scott McClellan approves of.

Reporters should feel free to use this guide to interpret McClellan’s remarks in the future.

CB, great post. I think you should have wallet sized cards with this dictionary printed up and sent to the White House press corp.

  • McClellan-to-English dictionary.

    Ha!

    Sounds like it could be a scholar’s work-of-a-lifetime.

    What was that really good AP article that came out just a little while ago, that pointed out how Bush speaks, or avoids speaking? Seems that’s kind of topical.

  • “Ongoing legal proceedings”

    Isn’t it amazing how often this comes up? It makes the “Crass Politics” defense a real howler.
    The Shorter Scottie McGibberish:
    We won’t discuss our crimes. The people who mention our crimes are practicing crass politics. The President has the right to commit any crime he likes in peace and quiet.

  • He has to have the worse job in the world.
    I’d rather scrape monkey poop off of the floor with my bare hands then to have to stand there and lie for this administration day after day.

  • Excellent dictionary.

    Note to any WH Press folks (or other, interested “Scottologists”): I present results from a small (and meaningless) analysis of a previous “Stonewall Mode” Scott briefing at this post (scroll down to the graph). You may find it helpful.

  • The funny thing about this “worst job in the world” is that Ari Fleischer actually made it through a press conference without looking like a moron. I don’t know if it’s the White House that changed, the press corps has changed, or McClellan really is that much dumber / less smooth than Fleischer.

    Consider me first on the list to buy a McClellan-English Dictionary when they come out.

  • While we’re making additions to the dictionary, we need to add “Leaker-in-Chief.” From the press in the last few days I’d say it’s headed right into Oxford’s.

  • Scottie has sucked the blood out of so many, many news stories that I doubt his image would appear on any mirrors he might have in his Arlington apartment.

  • When the time is right, the White House will replace (fire) Scotty, so that his replacement won’t have to defend the “inaccuracies” of his predecessor and all prior statements can be considered “void.”

    Like using one of those disposable toilet brushes, the scum (the lies) and the brush (Scotty) will be flushed away.

  • Here’s another definition:

    “Question”

    as in “I’ve answered that question”. A key word, hidden among many, from which one can spew a self-serving, prepared reponse unrelated to the meaning of the whole. Sometimes followed by “we seem to be talking by each other here” to signal “game over”.

  • Scotty McClellan is dancing in circles over this one and the media is catching on. I hope that they’re savvy enough and have got integrity enough to follow all the way through on this one.

  • Frak (14): “Question” as in “I’ve answered that question”…

    Related definition:

    answer verb 1. to lie, to respond to a question with a falsehood; 2. to issue a nonresponsive utterance or utterances.

  • I think that Scotty stand s in front of mirrors and repeat all these phrases so they stick in his little mind. I am always amazed at his ability to keep repeating the same words over and over again. I know he said “crass politics” several times on Friday. When are the Republicans engaging in “crass politics” Scotty???

  • Dear Scotty,

    With regard to my previous suggestion , I would suggest you retain Mr. CB as your editor for any future book deal as he will help you write a book “in English”. Writing a book in a language has proven time and time again to be one of the keys to writing a successful bestseller.

    Just a suggestion,

    Glen

  • Do they have a detox tank for ex-White House Press Secretaries? Scotty needs to sign up for at least a year to have any chance for a full recovery.

  • Here’s another term for the Scottie McClellan lexicon:
    Bullshit dispenser (noun)- a devise used to disperse useless and misleading information to reporters. Frequently employed in
    press briefings ( see Scott McClellan)

  • Howzabout a Bush to English lexicon? A few examples:

    “Hard Work” as in “I’ve been enaged in the hard work of reforming Social Security.” Translates to: Sitting in boring meetings dealing with boring stuff I don’t understand that makes me want to go running back to Crawford to clear brush.

    “Look forward to working with” as in “I look forward to working with Congress to …” Translates to; Karl and Dick are going to kick your ass until you see things my way.

  • Another one:

    Wild speculation noun 1. News reports that have not been based on White House press releases; 2. Any question by Helen Thomas.

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