The thin tape line between you and eternal damnation

August 13, 2005

Guest Post by Morbo

For the past few months, a bunch of young anti-abortion activists has been protesting at the Supreme Court. For someone reason, they wear red tape over their mouths (a practice I wish more fundamentalist Christians would emulate.)

I disagree with their message, but I support the right of these teenagers to protest and pray at the Supreme Court. Their methods have been peaceful, and they have followed police rules and stayed on the public sidewalk in front of the court.

TV preacher Pat Robertson had something interesting to say recently about these kids. Commenting on the protest, he told viewers of his “700 Club” program:

“I don’t want to over dramatize, but ladies and gentlemen, the truth is that the wrath of God is being held off by the prayer of intercessors. And there are many things that we’ve done — the slaughter of 40 million innocent babies in this land is a blot on our nation and the offense against God and rule after rule of the Supreme Court and lower court decisions is an offense to the holy God. Something has to be done so people are praying.”

Wow. I thought these were just right-wing kids hopped up on too much Jesus juice. Turns out there’s a lot riding on them. If they don’t keep praying, we face the wrath of God. And we know how serious that can be — floods, pillars of salt and all that.

Now I’m worried. I’ve seen these kids. Most of them look like they have trouble dressing themselves in the morning. If they are all that is standing between us and a spanking from the Big Guy Upstairs, we’re in trouble.

You might want to pick up an extra roll of tape for them the next time you go to Home Depot.

Well, God has told me that Robertson does not speak for him and that he wishes that Robertson would just keep his bleeping mouth shut.

  • You listen to these people and read what they write and it’s no wonder so many people are atheists.
    I think they just have a racket to collect the almighty dollar for their own personal wealth.
    I think most of these guy’s are crooks!

  • Actually, Cowboy, only 2% of the general
    public are atheists, polls have found.

    The American people are the most
    religious of all western countries.

    Interestingly, a recent study has found
    that 31% of social scientists, and 38%
    of natural scientists are atheists. You
    can find the story at:
    http://www.livescience.com

    I had once conjectured on another post
    that more than 50% of scientists are
    atheists, so I’m kind of surprised that
    the majority are religious.

  • Hark,
    I’m in the social sciences & I was religious. The only way I could resolve the cognitive dissonance was to interpret the Bible as allegory. A literal interpretation would have been laughable. Probably very few of the remainder are fundies.

    Of course, then I came across Tom Paine’s Age of Reason and did other research on my own and decided that I could no longer credit the bible even as an allegory. It’s possible that questioning the authority of the bible never even occurred to these scientists.

  • Ah, Pat Robertson — guru to the gumption-impaired. If he did not exist, it would be necessary for secularists to create him.

    I especially like the way he lectured God on how He really needed to “take control” and create a few more vacancies on the Supreme Court. Give us more dead judges, eh? Sounds more like James Dobson when he lectures hesitant parents on how to rein in their disobedient children. See, God is not toeing the line properly just now, because He allows too many bad things to happen. Looks like it will take some Dobson-style “tough love” to straighten Him out.

    Amusing the way people like Robertson think they can order the Almighty about like a duteous handmaid.

  • Actually, this story gives me hope…all we need to hold off the wrath of God is a bunch of dorks with red tape on their mouths. How can we convince them to stay there for ever so the rest of us can relax and go about our lives?

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