The unnecessary over-analysis of candidates’ marriages

The last time a Melinda Henneberger piece shook up the political world, it was back in June, when she argued, unpersuasively, that Democrats would be better off politically if they opposed abortion rights.

Today, Henneberger’s at it again, with a new series at Slate on the presidential candidates’ marriages. Digby, who received the same email from Slate about the series that I did, suggests this is the wrong way to go.

…I don’t believe it’s any of the public’s business beyond what the candidates themselves choose to share, because they already put everything relevant on the table, including their finances and their religious beliefs, and submit themselves to endless questions for months. It’s not as if we don’t have years long campaigns in which to pose every possible question to the candidates and get an idea of where they stand and how they might govern. Doing voyeuristic “investigative work” on their marriages is unnecessary.

People should be able to maintain one small piece of privacy for themselves and be allowed to simply say what they choose without being subjected to cheap Dr Phil psychobabble based on nothing but leering speculation and half-baked supposition. This is gossip, not campaign coverage.

Quite right. I’ve argued, on a variety of occasions, that the media’s unwillingness to scrutinize Rudy Giuliani’s scandalous personal life is odd, not because I care about his serial adultery, but because the media seems to apply a different standard to Dems.

That said, Digby’s overarching point is spot-on. In-depth analysis of candidates’ marriages, from a reporter who doesn’t know the candidates personally and didn’t interview the candidates or the spouses for the series, seems wholly inappropriate. There’s a lot of ground for the media to cover in the most wide-open presidential campaign of the modern era, and there has to be better use of time than this.

But then I went ahead and read Henneberger’s piece anyway, to see if it was as imprudent as I expected.

It was.

In the same way, both Barack and Michelle Obama have made a conscious, conspicuous effort to represent their marriage in the most realistic possible terms. So much so, in fact, that they may have overdone it, not only sharing strains that other political couples would have papered over, but portraying a strong relationship in a sometimes overly harsh light. This is what perfectionists in love look like, unaccustomed as we are to the sight. And this is how two former community organizers function in a relationship that’s far more egalitarian than most political unions. Decision by consensus is so crucial to both Obamas that she once took him along on a job interview—not for backup, but to see if the interviewer passed Barack’s test.

The woman Barack Obama married 15 years ago is a stickler, but the sane, unoperatic kind, who eats well and sees her trainer, gets the sleep she needs and overprepares for meetings. Until recently, she was a fixture at their daughters’ school—but without the slightest tendency to fret over the color of the cupcakes. She is too practical for that, and has no problem telling her 6- and 9-year-old girls that if they don’t like what’s being served for lunch, then they’ll be good and hungry for dinner. Though her job is in PR, a former colleague notes that she “is not interested in massaging your ego”—primarily because she sees flattery not as an emollient but as a trap and potential stumbling block. The Obamas are “are both very driven” Ivy-educated lawyers, but he is laid-back by comparison, according to her brother, Craig Robinson. “Barack has a calming effect on their family. My sister is very meticulous and straightforward and she’s more of the taskmaster.” They laugh more when he is around, her brother says. But not just anybody could play straight man to such a serious guy.

In their marriage, Michelle serves as the role model’s role model, keeper of books and all of the lists, defender of standards no one else even knows about. “Michelle is the one who makes sure all the things that need to get done get done,” says his Harvard Law buddy Cassandra Butts. “And as my sister likes to say, ‘If Mommy’s not happy, nobody’s happy.’ “

Henneberger’s piece is well-researched; it’s well-written; and it covers quite a bit of ground. Henneberger doesn’t dig through the trash; she relies on already-published comments and insights.

But it all seems so painfully voyeuristic. It’s fair to expect there’s going to be some style/personality pieces on major candidates’ family lives, but Henneberger wrote 2,700 words about the Obamas’ marriage — and it’s part one of two. At the end of today’s piece, it reads, “Tomorrow: What the Obama marriage might mean for his presidency.”

And we can expect plenty more of this, presumably about all the major candidates. I’m just not sure why.

When you combine the media’s aversion to covering substantive issues with the eon’s long presidential campaign, I’m afraid this is what you wind up with. With nothing to talk about, they’re going turn it into celebrity frolics, you know, like the second half hour of Keith Olbermann’s Countdown. They just don’t do first half hour material. So what’s left after you get done with the latest horse race polling data? This crap.

God forbid we should get substantive analysis of the health care issue. And they can’t even spell global warming.

  • From the little you posted, Steve, all I could think when reading about Michelle Obama was, “control freak!” And then I wanted to smack myself for getting sucked into making a judgment about what kind of person she is – when I know that no matter how much the Obamas reveal about themselves, no matter what their family members and friends – and enemies – share, no one will ever really know what goes on in the Obama marriage except for Michelle and Barack Obama.

    I wish I knew why we had to give everyone the BritneySepars/Lindsay Lohan treatment, poking and peering into all the corners and nooks and crannies of people’s lives and analyzing every expression and glance, and delving into the meaning of this week’s purchases, until even they aren’t sure who they are anymore, but I wish it would just stop.

    I guess people must find it so much easier to look at other people’s lives than to look at their own, but it really does not speak well for what we are turning into. We aren’t entitled to know everything, and I wish someone would have the courage to draw a line; the media won’t do it and those who live off this nonsense aren’t going to do it either.

    That being said, there is a difference between an entirely appropriate examination of Giuliani’s personal life in light of the conflict between what he says and what he does – or has done – and subjecting everyone else to that same scrutiny in the interest of “fairness” – even when there is no conflict between the public and the private. Sometimes you can’t balance everything, nor should you have to.

  • Looking into the intricacies of a candidate’s marriage is like asking endless questions about the death of a coworker’s parent. It is inappropriate, tasteless and not germane. It is done because it sells newspapers/blogs.

  • Could it be that the largely gauzy policy prescriptions from candidates on both sides are the result of their knowing that it really doesn’t matter in today’s reportorial climate?

  • Don’t you see?
    A political campaign for president of the Unites States is no different from a nationally viewed sports event. These “Up Close and Personal” pieces of ‘jounalism’ have been part of our sports entertainment culture for decades, and have more recently become a staple of mainstream TV ent’tainment (beyond sports).
    “All the world’s a gossip rag.” – William Shakespeare

  • Who cares about the spouse? I want to know how these people treat their pets. Is the cat happy? Do they feed their goldfish, or do they hire someone else to? And what about the vermin? If a possum enters through the cat door, do they shoo it out themselves, or do they pay someone to exterminate it? Same question, but this time it’s a raccoon.

    That’s the kind of stuff I want to know. I also need to know what kind of booze they drink, what shampoo they use, and what brand of toilet paper they prefer. You give me that info and I’ll find you your next president.

  • And we can expect plenty more of this, presumably about all the major candidates. I’m just not sure why.– CB

    Well… If she concentrates on the candidates’ *current* marriages, it evens out the field a bit — everyone loves their current spouse and we don’t have to talk about the icky stuff like Giuliani updating his model twice and McCain and Thompson once (each). Yet, we can *still* zero in on some Clinton dirt — the dirt may be in the past, but it’s still the same marriage.

    I thought female journalists used to *hate* such frou-frou, “human interest” assignments because they were demeaning… Feminism may be requiescat but it ain’t “in pace” 🙂

  • I think it was Krugman who recently said that the media’s obsession with “character” and the personal side of the lives of candidates for public office used to simply be called gossip. This is so true. The media is treating Hillary Clinton as if she’s Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. The rest of the candidates are also getting the news-arazzi treatment too; being hounded for what could be depicted as potentially salacious or other untoward behavior unrelated to their pursuit of higher office.

    C’mon media, leadership is not the image that can be projected about a person but the actual acts of courage they demonstrate to make progress. But instead we’re reduced to whether a candidate smell like aqua velva …

    France’s Sarkozy got it right when 60 Minutes started probing his personal life by up and quitting a stupid interview when he saw through the questioning. I wish our politicos would be so brave.

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