The war was whose idea?

April 19, 2007

Wow, this sure is tiresome. (via TP)

Presidential confidant Karl Rove painted a bleak picture Wednesday of what would happen if the United States walked away from the global war on terror.

“We are foolish if we think we can turn away from this threat and draw inward, and they will not come,” President Bush’s chief political strategist told an audience of about 400 at the Mount Union Theater. […]

In a question-and-answer period after his speech, Rove was asked whose idea it was to start a pre-emptive war in Iraq.

“I think it was Osama bin Laden’s,” Rove replied.

Apparently, the upper echelon of the Republican Machine got together and decided to hold a contest: who can appear the craziest?

“I know,” said Rudy Giuliani, “I’ll tell voters I don’t know the difference between Iran and North Korea’s nuclear programs. If that doesn’t do it, I’ll remind everyone that I have no idea whether Iran and al Qaeda are Sunni or Shia. They’ll assume I’ve completely lost it!”

“Oh yeah” John McCain intervenes, “I’ll tell voters that it’d be irresponsible to promise that we’re going to win in Iraq, and then promise that that we’re going to win in Iraq. If that doesn’t do it, I’ll sing a clever little ditty about starting a war with Iran. Everyone knows politicians who sing about bombing raids are completely nuts!”

“You guys are amateurs,” Karl Rove concludes. “I’ll announce that the war in Iraq was bin Laden’s idea, which contradicts everything everyone knows about the last six years.”

At this point, McCain and Giuliani slowly backed away, said “we’re not worthy,” and handed Rove a crown one of them had picked up at Burger King with the words “King Krazy” scrawled in crayon.

Mr. Rove, since when are we taking orders from bin Laden?

  • “…if we think we can turn away from this threat and draw inward…”

    Like the only choices are preemptive and all-out war or turning away and draw inward.

    What a tool.

  • Hey Karl, John Derbyshire says only a pussy wouldn’t step in front of a guy firing a nine-millimeter handgun… you’re not a pussy, are you?

  • Sheesh, you’d think someone with a national fucking security clearance could tell the difference between international terrorists and people who are pissed off at us for destroying their homes and families.

    William Saletan gets this wrong today, too, though, with the Iraqi flypaper theory version Fucked.If.I.Know – who the fuck thinks your average Iraqi insurgent/freedom-fighter/whatever is interested in coming all the way to America to kill Americans?

    Just because we’d go to the ends of the earth to kill anyone who pisses us off (under the Sessions Doctrine, named for Jeff Sessions (R-The Klan), who said we had to invade Iraq to keep Saddam Hussein from claiming to have bested us) doesn’t mean – thankfully – that the rest of the world feels the same way.

    The most historically-minded among us may recall from colonial American history that George Washington did not feel compelled to defeat Britain by invading London.

  • What? So he’s admitting that Bin Laden suckered them into a trap?

    That doesn’t really mesh with the ‘serious about national security’ meme.

  • Scott,

    You got in first with the most logical comment!

    Why are we taking orders from or appeasing Osama? Maybe Dinesh got to Karl.

  • Also, we should not forget the fact that bin Laden wasn’t in Iraq, had no contacts with Iraq, and Iraq was pretty much shunning bin Laden. bin Laden was in Afghanistan. So, if it was bin Laden who started it, why the shite are we in Iraq? And why did we not go all out at Tora Bora to nail the person who started the preemptive war?

  • Even though I didn’t vote for these idiots I still feel so ashamed that we have people like this running the country. Sometimes the only way to make amends is just to never let it happen again. They truly have no conscience or even the ability to understand one. No remorse for all the death and destruction he and the other neocons dealt out as they lied us into this pre-emptive war for profit and still tries to rationalize. Rove is incapable of feeling shame so the rest of us are feeling it for him.

  • What? So he’s admitting that Bin Laden suckered them into a trap?

    That would mean he was being honest.

  • Also, there was no al queda till we created it. Bin Ladden had nothing to do with Iraq. But we did exactly what the ‘terrorists’ wanted us to do, and knew we would thanks to Bush the cowboy…Charge right in like General Custer where we got financially massacred, divided our country, destroyed the very freedoms we stood for, slowly lost thousands of American lives not counting the thousands injured, inspired the recruitment of more terrorists, and made fools of ourselves in the eyes of the world…real smart thinking Rove. And here you are still playing Custer. As hard as you keep trying we know there was no connection between 9/11 and Iraq, and you keep trying to justify Iraq war by linking it to 9/11 and there never was a connection. It’s your way on continuing to ‘try’ to justify the occupation of Iraq. Keep singing it to the choir(30%), the rest of us see right through you. Lied us into it and lying to keep us involved.

  • I didn’t know bin Laden had a policy position in this administration. He sure never would’ve passed the Senate — Bush must have given him a recess appointment.

  • I didn’t know bin Laden had a policy position in this administration.

    Position, hell–according to Rove, bin Laden’s our commander in chief.

  • Rove will never stop lying. Ever. At this stage in the game, there’s no point in telling the truth, because things would only be worse for him if he did.

  • My guess is that Bin Laden wishes he HAD started the war in Iraq because it has worked out just the way he would have wanted.

  • Funny:

    At this point, McCain and Giuliani slowly backed away, said “we’re not worthy,” and handed Rove a crown one of them had picked up at Burger King with the words “King Krazy” scrawled in crayon.

    Not-funny except in a sick, sad world sort of way:

    “I think it was Osama bin Laden’s,” Rove replied.

    Comments like this make it really hard to ignore theories that When bin Laden sneeze BushCo (TM) blows its nose.

    King Krazy Karl, Master of The Math and The Message must know he’s essentially saying bin Laden, one guy living in a cave, had a hand in the deaths of thosands of coalition soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi and Afghani civilians. Just the boost that vile, emaciated egotistical former prince needs.

    Talk about the language of defeat Karl. Even though he’s been on the run has been on the run for years bin Laden still managed to bugger the US military until it is running on fumes and duct-tape. Imagine what he’ll do if he comes out of the hills of Pakistan.

    But I’m also surprised any one in the Admin. is allowed to speak his name. bin Laden? Who? Oh that guy.

  • “But I’m also surprised any one in the Admin. is allowed to speak his name. bin Laden? Who? Oh that guy.”

    Maybe it’s because OBL is the preset default answer? A living, breathing, (well once upon a time he was), Emmanuel Goldstein?

  • I didn’t know bin Laden had a policy position in this administration.

    Position, hell–according to Rove, bin Laden’s our commander in chief.

    Comment by RSA

    RSA, bin Laden may be the only person on earth willing to accept the proposed War Czar position. and even he might politely decline.

  • Porchclimber nailed it in #5.

    Bush definitely is bin Laden’s BFF. Probably no way he could have predicted how bad Bush would fuck things up, but there it is.

    Send this story to everyone who wonders why people continue to link Iraq with 9/11.

    Hey media: Can we get a poll to see how many people still buy this crap? Can you please try to dispel Rove’s delusion just a bit?

    Please?

  • See! See! That’s how mind-boggling DANGEROUS Osama is. He knew that by organizing an attack on the US using Saudis trained in Afghanistan, it would force President Bush to attack Saddam in Iraq! It was all Osama’s idea to force regime change and provide al Qaeda with a fertile training ground.

    Only an evil genius like Osama would know how to get two of his enemies fighting each other!

    No wonder we need to throw away all our civil liberties in order to defeat him.

    Thanks, Karl. It’s so clear now.

  • I’m not sure that Rove is an idiot: after all, Wolfowitz refuses to resign, and so does Alberto Gonzales. I think Americans don’t quite understand that we’re already linving in a cruel tyranny, and that these tyrants are not gonna go “gently into the good night”… Not until they finish the job: killing democracy once and for all, and deliver the U.S. of A. to Bin Laden’s family, and the international consortium that OBL, GWB, his father etc etc. are a big part of. Therefore, since the Democrats are too timid to remove Gonzales and cut the funds for the troops in Iraq, one hope only remains: that a new “Robespierre” may suddenly emerge, and “purge” the regime with the only effective tool: Madame La Guillotine!

  • “I think it was Osama bin Laden’s,”

    A “Care to elaborate?” response would have been called for at that moment.

    I can’t decide. Is MC Turdblossom more Martin Bormannish, or is he more Joseph Goebbelsish?

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