‘Then, you multiply the height of the Pyramids by the size of the hurricane…’

Guest Post by Morbo

I’ll admit that my search for the most offensive thing said by a right-winger about Hurricane Katrina has become a bit obsessive.

I just can’t help myself. Most people have enough common sense not to say insensitive and stupid things in the wake of a natural disaster of this scale. They might think them, but they don’t say them out loud.

Some members of the kook right, by contrast, not only say insane things, they want everyone to know they are saying them. So they write columns and send them out to the newspapers. Such deeply twisted individuals cannot fail to fascinate any student of human nature.

Consider Don Feder. This sad case was, for many years, a columnist for a major daily newspaper, The Boston Herald. Apparently, since retiring, Feder has had to tighten his belt financially and can no longer afford his medication.

What else could explain the utterly raving column he distributed nationwide through e-mail recently?

Read the following except, if you can manage to get through it without throwing up:

“Katrina hit New Orleans one week to the day after the Sharon government carried out the forced removal of some 9,500 Jewish residents of Gaza and parts of Samaria. This was done under pressure from Washington. (“I will curse those who curse you.”) On the day Katrina made landfall, bodies were being removed from Jewish cemeteries in Gaza, to prevent Palestinians from desecrating the remains. Israeli bodies were disinterred; American bodies floated in the streets of New Orleans.

“9,500 Jews were driven from Gaza. Most are still homeless. Roughly half-a-million Americans were displaced by Katrina. Based on America’s population ratio with Israel (about 50-to-1) this is roughly equivalent.

“Numerology is important in traditional Judaism. Each Hebrew letter is assigned a number value. Many scholars believe the Bible has hidden codes that can be unlocked by this device. Written in Hebrew, Katrina has a numerical equivalent of 374. There are two relevant passages that share this number – ‘They did unto thee evil’ (Genesis, 50:17) and ‘The sea upon land’ (Exodus 14:15).

“‘Katrina’ comes from the Greek meaning ‘to purify.’ New Orleans City Council President Oliver Thomas observed, ‘Maybe God is going to cleanse us.'”

For good measure, Feder also blamed the hurricane on “Southern Decadence,” a gay-right festival that had been planned for New Orleans. He describes it as “an annual orgy celebrating alternative death-styles, characterized by nudity and public copulation” and calls it a “freak-fest.”

And what of all the innocent people who died? What about all of the babies and senior citizens? What about the mentally incapacitated who never heard of Gaza? What about those people who opposed what happened in Gaza and were bothered by “Southern Decadence”? Why did they have to die too?

Feder dismisses them all in a few words: During the Civil War, he writes, Abraham Lincoln “acknowledged that when God punishes a nation, the guiltless suffer along with the guilty.”

So there you have it: homophobia, twisted theology, “Bible Code” pseudoscientific numerology claptrap and victim blaming — all crammed into one 1,514-word column. Quite an accomplishment.

When I first saw this monstrosity, I actually doubted its parentage. I thought perhaps that wacky gang from The Onion was at it again. So I called the public relations contact who sent it out, and he assured me that it’s real. Feder means it.

And here’s the rub: This guy thinks he’s better than you and me. Make no mistake, Feder believes he subscribes to a superior ethical and moral system.

My guess is, since you’re reading this blog, you probably hew to a secular ethic or one derived from a liberal or moderate religious tradition. To Feder and his crowd, that makes you morally deficient. He feels certain his ultra-orthodox religious view is superior.

Yet look where Feder’s superior system has led him: to a place of no compassion, a place of name-calling, a place of sneering arrogance, a place of hateful diatribes. It is, I would submit, a cold and lonely place lorded over by a scary god, a god to be fled from the way a primitive man must have huddled, terrified, during a thunderstorm. This is a god of vengeance only, not a god of love. And Feder can have him, as far as I’m concerned. If such a god truly rules the universe and smiles upon an attitude like Feder’s, he’s the last person I want to spend eternity with.

One more thing: Feder now works handing media relations for the Rev. Rick Scarborough, a Texas Baptist pastor I wrote about a few weeks ago. Scarborough was apparently the first member of the kook right to float the theory that Katrina was God’s punishment for the Gaza resettlement.

Scarborough planned to hold a conference in Washington next month on “judicial tyranny.” He has now pushed it back to March of 2006. U.S. Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) is still listed as a speaker.

Does Brownback agree with Feder and Scarborough that the victims of Hurricane Katrina had it coming? It would be interesting to know.

Falwell, Feder, Scarborough . . .
They all contend through extended, twisted theology and ink-blot like interpretations that these storms are signs from God and are intended to support some weird point in their previously determined agendas . . .

I am not that complicated or obscure. Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas ~ what do they all have in common? They are the power base for that incompetent, mean lost child that you people elected president. The storms are retribution for electing him and for being stupid and gullible enough to believe him. Sorry about New Orleans but hopefully y’all are now aware that you’ve been screwing the poor forever and will do somthing about it. My kid said you shuold spread your riches among the poor and follow him – do it!

  • In the alternative wacko hurricane theory group here’s another one. From a weather forecaster at a TV station in Idaho here’s this goodie.

    He believes the Japanese mafia created Katrina as revenge for Hiroshima. The Japanese group is one of several, Stevens says, that likely possess the required technology: an electromagnetic generator developed in 1976 in Russia. He predicts the gangsters, Japan’s Yakuza, intend to destroy another U.S. city within the year, probably by unleashing an earthquake or volcanic eruption in the West.

    For anyone interested there’s more over at David Neiwert’s blog Orcinus. Scroll down to the second story Wacko weathermen.

  • Written in English, Don Feder has a numerical value of 1. One wacked out, screwed up, totally bent, utterly warped cheeseball.

    When put together the word donfeder in ancient holyshitish means eel anus.

  • What really is starting to bug me is that God has such bad communication skills! I mean, c’mon, if you got something to tell, say it straight up – we don’t got time for all the childish guessing games!

    Like, are you mad at athiests? Is it the Isreali’s? Maybe God doesn’t even care about people!

    Are you mad at Earth for coveting Phobos? Are we Earth’s punishment? The oils spills, the toxic gumbo, that is nasty punishment – is the Earth gay?!

  • Mikmik makes a good point. You’d think the Omnipotent Lord Almighty on High could be a little more clear as to just what it is that has incurred His Holy Discontentment, and for that matter, might choose to express His disapproval in a manner less likely to be confused for the product of the normal operation of weather patterns (if a bit more intense than most). Wouldn’t, say, 30-foot burning letters saying “Stop [Killing Babies, Evicting Jews, Having Hot Man-on-Man Action, etc.]!” written across the sky get Your point across a bit more effectively than, say, a slightly fetus-like radar image of the eye of a hurricane? That’s what I’d do if I was God (though of course I wouldn’t be particularly concerned about any of the above issues, so it’s sort of a moot point).

  • Dear Mikmik and James Dillon,

    You say that “God has such bad communication skills” and “the Omnipotent Lord Almighty on High could be a little more clear”. How much more clearer can He be? The Bible says everything that needs to be said and much more. How much more communication do you need?

    Have either of you read the Bible? I challenge both of you to read the Bible. Even if you don’t believe in Jesus Christ you should read it. This way you will know if He is real or not. I mean, what do you have to lose???

    Faith
    (God is Real…Jesus Lives)

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