This Week in God

First up from the [tag]God[/tag] machine this week is a story from good ol’ [tag]Florida[/tag]. In the Sunshine State, the words “[tag]In God We Trust[/tag]” have appeared on the state seal since 1868, but according to state legislation signed into law this week by Gov. [tag]Jeb Bush[/tag] (R), that wasn’t good enough. The phrase needed to be Florida’s official motto.

The [tag]motto[/tag] bill resulted from a school project by two fourth grade pupils who discovered there was no state law certifying “In God We Trust.” They approached Rep. Greg Evers, R-Baker, who introduced the bill.

“First and foremost this [tag]honors the Almighty[/tag],” Evers said in a statement issued by his office.

And in a country that pretends to honor the separation of church and state, having laws that use the power of the state to “honor the Almighty” makes perfect sense, right?

If memory serves, the Supreme Court came up with a test a few decades ago called the “Lemon test,” which said, among other things, that laws had to have a “secular purpose” in order to be consistent with the First Amendment. With this in mind, isn’t Greg Evers effectively admitting that his bill is legally problematic?

And speaking of people with problems, the LA Times had a very interesting story this week on religious activists, around the world, who are hoping to hasten the arrival of the end of the world. Seriously.

For thousands of years, prophets have predicted the [tag]end of the world[/tag]. Today, various religious groups, using the latest technology, are trying to hasten it.

Their endgame is to speed the promised arrival of a messiah. For some Christians this means laying the groundwork for Armageddon.

With that goal in mind, mega-church pastors recently met in Inglewood to polish strategies for using global communications and aircraft to transport missionaries to fulfill the [tag]Great Commission[/tag]: to make every person on Earth aware of Jesus’ message. Doing so, they believe, will bring about the end, perhaps within two decades.

It’s not just Christians. In Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, when he was mayor of Tehran, spent millions to help welcome the return of a Muslim messiah known as the Mahdi. In Jerusalem, some Jewish groups hope to rebuild a temple that would, they believe, clear the path for their own messiah.

In Mississippi, my personal favorite is revivalist preacher and cattle rancher Clyde Lott, who is trying to raise a unique herd of red heifers. As the LAT noted, Lott is trying to “satisfy an obscure injunction in the Book of Numbers: the sacrifice of a blemish-free red heifer for purification rituals needed to pave the way for the messiah.”

In case you’re wondering, none of the cows qualify, but Lott’s going to keep trying.

From Matthew 7: “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits…. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.”

Gotta love the Bible — you can use it to support just about any side of any argument.

  • Or this, from 2nd Timothy: “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”

  • Actually, he did get one cow which qualified. It is apparently no longer with his herd but is sequestered in a protective area, because there was some worry about hoof and mouth.

    I thought the funniest thing about the guy is that he takes his cows to some poor rabbi who has to “certify” them. If the rabbi finds fewer than 3 white or black hairs on the heifer, then it’s officially red. How exactly do you get someone to go along with this kind of scheme, is what I wonder. “Excuse me, sir, will you count some hairs… on my cow? Thanks.”

  • You’d think that if the Almighty were, well, almighty, He/She/It could come back without waiting for a qualifying heifer. It’s amazing the bottleneck God allows waiting for insignificant humans to make weird and unlikely things happen. It’s almost like He/She/It really doesn’t want to come. I guess maybe it’s not the destination but the journey that’s important, huh?

    On the other hand, considering the actions and competence of the Bush administration, I can imagine the end of life as we’ve known it within the next three years, heifer or no heifer. Just thinking…

  • And in the year of 2000 they “elected”, with the help of God and 5 Supreme Courts judges, George Armstrong Bush and Dick Custer Cheney. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Couldn’t he just hit CtrlAltDel?

  • “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” [Matthew 24:35-36]

    Interesting that Jesus himself says that no one knows when the end will come, yet some of his followers choose to ignore him.

  • Whew! I thought you were going to tell us that they were meeting with a plan to nuke us all!

  • They are, Catherine, but we’re not supposed to know about that. Shhhhhh!! 😉

  • God,

    Please, do the Rapture. Take them all away. I know its two millenium after Jesus promised it would happen. But I know you could. They are all waiting and getting into so much trouble while they do. Just suck them up to heaven, it’s okay with us who will be left behind. Really!

    Now, that tribulations thing. While it sounds exciting, really, don’t put yourself out. I know John, ‘the apostle Jesus loved’ wrote a lot of nifty stuff, but it seems a bit overwroth to me. You don’t have to go to all that bother. Just leave the horses in the stables and the horsemen to their drinks.

    But the Rapture, please do that.

  • Personally prechers and ranchers who actively seek to bring about armegeddon ought to be classified as terrorists and become an intense target of the FBI.

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