This Week in God

First up from the God machine this week is an unusual religion problem in a religious Texas town. Apparently, it has too many churches.

They are not the words one expects to hear from a politician or a Southerner, and Leonard Scarcella is both: “Our city has an excessive number of churches.”

Scarcella is mayor of this Houston-area community, which has 51 churches and other religious institutions packed into its 7 square miles.

With some 300 undeveloped, potentially revenue-producing acres left in Stafford, officials are scrambling to find a legal way to keep more tax-exempt churches from building here.

“With federal laws, you can’t just say, ‘We’re not going to have any more churches,’ ” Scarcella said. “We respect the Constitution, but 51 of anything is too much.”

Tell that to Starbucks in any downtown in the country.

Stafford has no property taxes, and relies on sales taxes and business fees for revenue — which would work fine in the small town if there weren’t so many churches that pay neither. “It’s thrown everything out of balance, plus providing zero revenue. Somebody’s got to pay for police, fire and schools,” City Councilman Cecil Willis said.

The LA Times reported that the council’s attorneys are “researching ways to stop church growth.” We should know more in about six weeks.

Next up is an update about the least-educational “museum” in the country.

Like most natural history museums, this one has exhibits showing dinosaurs roaming the Earth. Except here, the giant reptiles share the forest with Adam and Eve.

That, of course, is contradicted by science, but that is the point of the $25 million Creation Museum rising fast in rural Kentucky.

Its inspiration is the Bible — the literal interpretation that contends God created the heavens, the Earth and everything in them just a few thousand years ago.

“If the Bible is the word of God and its history really is true, that’s our presupposition or axiom, and we are starting there,” museum founder Ken Ham said during a tour of the sleek and modern facility, which is scheduled to open next year.

Visitors to the museum, a few miles from Cincinnati, will be able to watch the story of creation unfold in a 180-seat special-effects theater, see a 40-foot-tall re-creation of a section of Noah’s Ark and stare into the jaws of robotic dinosaurs.

The Washington Times quoted John Morris, president of the Institute for Creation Research in San Diego, saying that the museum will help further undermine modern science (which he sees as a good thing). “Americans just aren’t gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish,” he said.

Putting aside the notion of common ancestry, are people gullible enough to believe that the earth is 6,000 years old? We’ll know more when the “Creation Museum” opens early next year.

And, finally, James Dobson’s Focus on the Family is none-too-pleased that the Air Force — not exactly known for its tolerance for religious diversity — quietly rewrote an unofficial flag-folding script for military funerals after complaints from non-believers.

Though most people are familiar with the flag-folding ceremony at military funerals, the script that is read as the 12 folds are made is not widely known.

The old, unofficial one began: “The first fold of our flag is a symbol of life. The second fold is a symbol of our belief in the eternal life.” Folds 11 and 12 are the ones that led the atheists to challenge.

“The eleventh fold, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen, represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies, in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The twelfth fold, in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Ghost.”

But the Air Force has replaced that unofficial script with an official one that contains no religious references.

Matt Zimmerman, who directs the military Chaplains Commission for the National Association of Evangelicals, said the change has gone by largely unnoticed, and there’s been no outcry from anyone. “I don’t think it’s on anybody’s radar,” he said.

Focus hopes to change that by starting a letter-writing campaign to elected officials.

I can hear a carney cooing in smooth Kentuckian English:

Step right up folks…
Step right up…
Come in and see that there is a sucker born every second…
And two scientists to fleece him…
Step right up…
Because YOU,
and YOU,
and YOU,
Aren’t gullible enough to believe that you came from a fish!
Step right up…
And let Jesus blow some truth into you…

  • I guess adding dinosaurs to the bible makes everything ‘scientific’. Nevermind that the bible doesn’t mention them, and scientific evidence places them well before they believe the Earth was created. What do they hope to accomplish by selling Eden as Jurassic Park?

  • What they need to do is move that creationism museum to Stafford, Texas, and tax the living crap out of its revenues.

  • Fundies meet the Fundies
    Have a yabadaba doo time,
    Have a gay (not in that way) ole time!

    For years I heard that Liberals lived in a fantasy world, but this goes beyond delusion. These guys are so hung up on the illusion. I don’t have a problem if people want to believe (if I don’t), but I have a problem when they don’t follow what they believe. I highly respect the Amish and Mennonites because they didn’t want to live in our world and they do their best to live the way they believed.

    If these fundie dummies want to live in a world without Evolution and the Big Bang then they should live and (especially) eat like the Amish because ALL of our modern technology is based on the scientific principles that they deny exist.

    Computers and electronics work on principles that can trace their origins to the BIG Bang. All the fatty crap the fundies scraf down is based on man devised evolution. Antibiotics? Can’t take’em. And the car? Well, they weren’t in the bible. If these guys weren’t so messed up and honest with themselves then they’d be like a less humble more assholish version of the Amish.

  • Koreyel, I was thinking along similar lines. This museum is one huge carnival and should be treated as such. Perhaps someone should organize a tour package which includes the Barnum Museum, Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum ,the Creation Museumand as an added bounus the Creation Evidence Museum. It could be a called the Americana Schlock Tour. The tour would be targeted at the terminally hip kids who tend to have many tattoos and piercings. Wouldn’t you love to see the look on the face of the Kentucky museum proprietors as these kids unload off the bus.

  • Considering that the facility is in Kentucky, which is about as progressive as Tennesee, and rural KY at that, it’s no wonder that its developers found fertile soil for it there. Since none of its exhibits are based on empirical evidence in the manner of established museums of natural history and are in fact based on the stories in the New Testament, why is the facility referred to as the “Creation Museum” and not the “Creation Amusement Park”?

  • That the museum would be in the Land Of Straight-Line Family Twigs is completely unsurprising. People who believe this sort of thing are exactly what you get with ten generations of Southerners “keeping it in the family.”

    As to “Americans just aren’t gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish.”

    H.L. Mencken, writing in 1924 about another example of the oxymoron of “Southern intelligence” said: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people.”

    I’m sure this thing will be a money-maker. A busy day there should lower the statewide average IQ into negative numbers.

  • CB:Visitors to the museum, a few miles from Cincinnati, will be able to watch the story of creation unfold in a 180-seat special-effects theater […]

    One of the “special effects” to include the open-chest surgery on Adam for to provide him a mate? That should give the kiddies nightmares for years to come.

    #3’s suggestion is delightful but I doubt it would work; I suspect the museum, being an educational institution, is as tax exempt as a church and supported by taxpayer dollars.

    Re: too many churches in Stafford, Texas:
    Touring the Old City part of Montreal, Canada recently, I was struck by the difference between it and the Old City part of Warsaw, Poland. In Warsaw, it’s “church, church, church, shop, church, church, church”. In Montreal, it’s “bank, bank, bank, restaurant, bank, bank, bank”, with only one or two churches in the lot. Kinda shows the priorities 🙂

  • I feel sorry for these people. I really do. Gifted with a brain which took their ancestors many thousands of years to hone for reasoning, these sub-morons pontificate for the rest of us about something they’re not qualified to defend, except to the other sub-morons who already “believe” (i.e., with whom they share some unprovable and often harmful superstitions).

    Humans, in some form or another, have only been around for about 2 million years. Homo sapiens for about 200,000 years. Dinosaurs (non-avian) suffered mass extinction about 65 million years ago, long before our species and theirs could have co-existed.

    Evolution aside, the Texas group of sub-morons don’t realize that the “fault” isn’t too many churches,. Rather it’s our assumption about churches, namely, that such businesses should somehow be tax-free, that they should be able to rake in the bucks while their fellow Texans lack police and fire protection and, apparently, adequate public education.

    And then there’s the Dobson genre of sub-morons. Their fetish about the proper prayers to recite during what ought to be a strictly secular military flag-folding is clearly idolatrous. But don’t tell them this; their so-called religion enjoys condemning people regardless of awareness of intent. We may as well let them grease their own skid-roads to Hell-fire and brimstone, Hallelujah!

  • Sounds like something that would be fun to go to tripping.

    Wonder if they’d throw you out of the IMAX deal for laughing uncontrollably.

    Hmm. Cincinnati, eh…

  • I, like 99% of America, and as someone who served on flag detail in the Army on occassions, had no idea that the twelve folds of the flag had any symbolic meaning. I just remember you had to leave only the blue field showing.

    As for the creation museum, will it also have an model of the bowling alley that God uses to make thunder?

    Sorry, something that my older sister told me when I was 5.

    Okay, I was 22.

  • Does anyone else find the statement of “Creation Museum” founder Ken Ham (my emphasis)

    If the Bible is the word of God and its history really is true, that’s our presupposition or axiom, and we are starting there,”

    remarkably conciliatory? I mean, he actually acknowledges that belief in the Bible as the word of God is a ‘presupposition’. He even allows that its history may not be true.

    I’m surprised. Offers hope?

  • Stafford has no property taxes, and relies on sales taxes and business fees for revenue — which would work fine in the small town if there weren’t so many churches that pay neither. “It’s thrown everything out of balance, plus providing zero revenue. Somebody’s got to pay for police, fire and schools,” City Councilman Cecil Willis said.

    Pray Stafford. Pray your asses off. Pray for all the stuff you need but that no one wants to pay for. Ask. And you shall receive. So they say.

  • Think about this statement for a minute: “Americans just aren’t gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish,” he said.

    This, coming from a guy putting forth a point of view based on faith. One of the ways Webster’s defines “faith” is “firm belief in something for which there is no proof.” So, who’s gullible here?

    How does one reason with the irrational?

  • “Americans just aren’t gullible enough to believe that they came from a fish,” he said.

    yes, but they should be gullible enough to believe that God created woman from a rib-bone…

  • “With federal laws, you can’t just say, ‘We’re not going to have any more churches,’ ” Leonard Scarcella said. “We respect the Constitution, but 51 of anything is too much.”

    That’s okay, with no police or firemen, you can just expect them to be robbed and burned down soon.

  • Stafford is no small town. It’s a suburb of Houston.
    It’s connects Houston to Sugar Land (Delay Territory).
    The population is like 20,000, but it’s really a business suburb, catering to probably 10 other suburbs.

    51 churches does not seem out of place. In Texas there are tons of churches that have been around forever, and a lot of those churches are still in their original small buildings. I would bet half of those churches have congregations smaller than 50 people. Some of them seriously look like ‘little house on the prarie’ shacks.

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