This Week in God

First up from the God machine is a story that combines two of my favorite subjects: religion news and science fiction.

Last week, two self-proclaimed Jedi Knights appealed to the United Nations to recognize their faith as an official religion and accordingly rename the International Day for Tolerance to Interstellar Day of Tolerance.

The petition from Britons John Wilkinson and Charlotte Law, who call themselves Umada and Yunyun, comes after a 2001 British census recorded 400,000 people who “practice” the Jedi faith.

As it turned out, the United Nations was not the droid agency Wilkinson and Law were looking for. “The UN is not in the business of certifying religions,” said UN spokesman Stephane Dujarric. “With or without light sabers.”

That’s probably a good thing, but I’m still struggling to understand how 400,000 people listed “Jedi” as their faith in the 2001 British census. If it was 400, I would have been surprised. But 400,000? There’s obviously some kind of Lucas-based spiritual movement out there that I’m not aware of.

Next up from the God machine is a great twist on a familiar story about school prayer.

It’s not unusual to have incidents in which a teacher and a student disagree about whether the instructor crossed the church-state line in promoting matters of religion, but it’s often a he-said/she-said situation. A student will have one version of events; the teacher another.

In New Jersey, however, one high school student accused his history teacher of preaching in class — and he backed it up with an audio recording.

Junior Matthew LaClair, 16, said history teacher David Paszkiewicz, who is also a Baptist preacher in town, spent the first week of class lecturing students more about heaven and hell than the colonies and the Constitution.

LaClair said Paszkiewicz told students that if they didn’t accept Jesus, “you belong in hell.” He also dismissed as unscientific the theories of evolution and the “Big Bang.”

LaClair, who described his own religious views as “non-Christian,” said he wanted to complain about Paszkiewicz to school administrators, but feared his teacher would deny the charges and that no one would take a student’s word against a teacher’s. So, he said, he started taping Paszkiewicz.

“I would never have suspected something like this went on in a public school,” LaClair said yesterday. “If I didn’t have those CDs, everything would have been dismissed.”

That Paszkiewicz went way beyond the line is not open to debate. On the fourth day of class, Paszkiewicz is on tape saying, “He (God) did everything in his power to make sure that you could go to heaven, so much so that he took your sin on his own body, suffered your pains for you and he’s saying, ‘Please accept me, believe me.'”

He adds, according to the tapes: “If you reject that, you belong in hell. The outcome is your prerogative. But the way I see it, God himself sent his only son to die for David Paszkiewicz on that cross … And if you reject that, then it really is to hell with you.”

It’s worth noting, of course, that it took a full month before school administrator would meet with LeClair about his concerns. Moreover, Paszkiewicz denied having included religious lessons in class, and according to LeClair, the principal was prepared to take him at his word.

The meeting took a turn, however, when LaClair reached into his backpack and produced the CDs. Apparently, the Baptist teacher was not only prepared to abandon his official responsibilities by proselytizing in class, he was also prepared to lie about it. Isn’t there some kind of Commandment or something against that sort of behavior?

The superintendent has vowed to take “corrective action,” though it’s not entirely clear what that will be. In the meantime, Christian students are blaming the student for the teacher’s outrageous in-class conduct.

“I lost a few friends,” LaClair said. “I don’t really hold it against them. I hope over time we’ll get back together.”

And, finally, odd news from the world of the religious right movement. Remember a month ago when Morbo noted with some optimism that Dr. Joel C. Hunter had taken over the Christian Coalition? Given Hunter’s background and published works, it seemed like a relative moderate would now lead the former-powerhouse organization.

Except it didn’t last. As of this week, Hunter is out as the Christian Coalition. He said he wanted to work on other issues besides just gay marriage and abortion, the Coalition’s board of directors insisted that Hunter stick to just those two issues, so he’s gone. Typical.

Is there some hyper religious school district’s in New Jersey that we never hear about?

  • I’m not surprised about the Jedi religion just surprised that they’d take it to the UN. I wonder if Kofi asked if they also wanted a satellite laser to scratch their ass (Family Guy)

    What’s their take on sex and food? If it’s all about kissing your sister and drinking blue milk then I’ll remain an atheist.

    As for the “teacher”, how do people of non-science backgrounds know the difference between unscienctific and scientific?

  • The reporting Jedi thing as your religion is, if I recall correctly, some sort of prank that was being played on the authorities. I vaguely recall reading about it when it happened.

  • Bravo Mr. McLair! Too bad he didn’t have a camera, I would pay dearly for a picture of his teacher’s face at the “moment of truth.”
    Religious Whack jobs – 0
    Intelligent students – 10

    Re: Hunter. I’m surprised he lasted that long. Oh well, I hear T. sHaggard’s schedule is rather empty these days…

  • I wonder which Hollywood celebrity will now embrace the Jedi religion as Tom Cruise has embraced Scientology. After all, Scientology was conceived on a dare by a writer of science fiction!

  • Good for Matt LaClair! That’s the kind of accountability that lying scum like his teacher deserve. Let that put the entire nutjob establishment on notice that their words may come back to haunt them. Well done, Matt!

  • The superintendent has vowed to take “corrective action,” though it’s not entirely clear what that will be.

    That would be ‘no more recorders in class’ probably.

    Literalism springs eternal. It seems the most “moral” among us are the most willing to lie and cover up their own “sins”.

    I guess I’m mistaken. I always thought the “Big Bang” was the night the angel partied with Mary.

    Oh well, I hear T. sHaggard’s schedule is rather empty these days…
    Comment by The Answer is Orange – Returns

    🙂 T. Rider Haggard has experience with the gay part and with the mariage part, he just hasn’t seemed to reconcile them. Haggard’s theme song? “I’m a receiver, but i couldn’t leave her if i tried.”

    Apologies to the Monkees & Neil Diamond?

  • I always admired the answer that a friend of mine would give when asked about his religion: “Methylated Spiritualist”.

  • I think the lesson from Matt’s heroics is “if you don’t record it, it didn’t happen.” And it aplies to negative encounters with school authorities, cops, soldiers, funny uncles, Mel Gibson, and sometimes with your spouse.

  • The article mentions that the teachers defneders claim that he always prefaced his remarks that they were his personal opinion and personal beliefs. But if the guy had been gay and discussed his personal opinions and personal beliefs about that, the religious types would be clamouring to get him thrown out of the school.

  • Congratulations to Matt LaClair, not the least of which is for having the sense to tape the pious fraud’s ranting and illegal prosletyzing in a public school classroom. The kid should be given the Medal of Freedom of Conscience award.

    Students that attend classes in schools funded by tax dollars should be free of any religious speech whatsoever unless it is spoken in a class called “Comparative Religious Studies.”

  • Just googled on the jedi religion. Apparently in 2001, an email went around the world to English speakers saying that if just 10,000 people would declare their religion as Jedi on the census, they could be recognized. Australia got about 70,000, New Zealand, 35,000 and England and Wales together about 390,000. Which makes it about the 4th most popular religion there. However, the impression I got was that they haven’t tried to become organized, so nothing much is likely to come of it….

  • How much you want to bet that someone tries to bring LaClair up on charges for “eavesdropping” or some such thing?

    He’s a hero in my book regardless.

  • Matthew LaClair is quite a writer, too.

    Check this out:
    http://barnson.org/node/640

    “…America has become the world’s only superpower, but instead of acting like a strong, confident nation, we are acting like children. I am sickened and appalled, and therefore it is not just my right, but my duty as a citizen to speak out. I do not do this for myself. I have nothing personally to gain and much to lose. I do it for my country because it is right…”

  • The christians in Jersey have obviously learned their lesson:

    “…Superintendent of Schools Robert Mooney said:

    “I think he (Paszkiewicz) was trying to have a high-level discussion with his students,”… “Right now he has to be very careful. But I also don’t want in the long run for him to throttle down the level of discussion based on this issue.”

    Mooney said Paszkiewicz made his comments in the context of discussions about the effect religion had on the shaping of America…”

    Yeah. And he didn’t do meth or screw the gay hooker. In Denver.

  • Oh, I could see Jedi being a “modernized” take on zen buddhism. Of course, these jokers probably have no idea what that is.

  • The article about LeClair was depressingly predictable. The school administration rallies around this excellent teacher and slaps his fingers, while LeClair ends up ostracized. Ah, ain’t school grand? It reminds me of when I offered to come to the local high school to speak about the history and current conditions in Central America after taking a trip down there during the height of the wars in Guatemala and El Salvador. I’d spent years there prior to that as well, and was only interested in informing the students, since at that time there was a lot of talk about sending U.S. troops down there, and I wanted them to understand what was going on. While expressing interest in my offer (I was willing to do it for free, on their timetable), the school administration always found some excuse for why it just wasn’t going to fit into their schedule. Easier to assign a chapter out of the book than to take a chance that a guest speaker might say something to shock a busybody parent who could then make trouble for the school.
    I trust young LeClair will get sufficient positive feedback from around the country to confidently pursue his iconoclasm despite the pressures that are coming to bear to push him back into line. But what a pity that this sort of “teaching” is going on around the country, in varying degrees. Lamentable, to say the least.

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