This Week in God

First up from the God machine this week is a portion of an interview Bush did with Fox News’ Brit Hume that didn’t seem to generate much in the way of attention.

Hume noted that he’s spoken with a number of people who consider themselves Bush allies, but believe that his presidency has “run aground on the shoals of Iraq and that … they feel almost sorry for you.” Bush explained how and why he perseveres.

BUSH: People seem to forget that there is still an enemy that would like to launch an attack on us and I am doing that job along with a lot of other really good people. I also remind them, Brit, that Laura and I are sustained by the prayers of millions of people. Now that’s hard for some to – I guess chew on.

HUME: You sense that?

BUSH: Absolutely.

HUME: Well, I know they tell you that when you see them out on …

BUSH: I feel it.

HUME: You feel it?

BUSH: Yeah.

HUME: How much, in the terms of …

BUSH: Because the load is not heavy, I guess is the best way to describe it. Look, somebody said to me, “Prove it.” I said, “You can’t prove it.” All I can tell you is I feel it.

The president isn’t much interested in listening to critics, Congress, his father’s old team, the media, or the polls, but apparently someone is getting through to him.

Next up is the latest sales pitch from one of the religious community’s more loathsome personalities.

Benny Hinn is one of the most famous TV preachers and faith healers operating in the world today. His ministry holds “healing” crusades all over the globe, raking in millions along the way.

As a friend of mine explained a year ago, “Hinn lives and travels in style on money he coaxes from pensioners and widows scrapping by on Social Security. His healings are cruel frauds. In the highly charged, highly emotional atmosphere of a Hinn crusade, some undoubtedly do believe they’re better. It’s only later that they discover they are still sick. Some investigators have tracked down people Hinn ‘healed’ only to find that they were not only unhealed but, in fact, dead.”

Nevertheless, Hinn is one of the wealthiest preachers in the country. On two separate occasions, NBC’s “Dateline” has done exposes on his “ministry,” highlighting the enormous fortune Hinn takes in whenever he hosts another show. Apparently, his greed knows no bounds — Hinn is now asking his supporters to pony up to help him buy a new jet.

Purchasing this incredible ministry tool is monumental and historic. We have never bought any plane with this much range or capability that will crisscross the globe repeatedly so I can present the Gospel in person to unprecedented millions of precious souls who will accept and come to know our wonderful Jesus as their eternal Savior. Now is the time to move forward with Dove One. What we do for the sake of the Gospel, we must do now!

Hinn already has a private jet, of course, but he wants his supporters to help get a newer, nicer one. According to his sales pitch, Hinn is telling backers that the plane “is the only way I can continue to do all God is directing me to do during these prophetic days…. Your seed of $1,000 or more toward Dove One will reap a harvest for years. The G4SP is built to fly for decades. Imagine the harvest during all those years, and you will be a vital part of that long-term harvest!”

I know there will be many people who fall for this, and give Hinn the money that he’s asked for. I will just never understand why.

And, finally, we wrap up This Week in God with an update on everyone’s favorite fallen pastor, Ted Haggard, who begins his “rehabilitation” this week.

Haggard, 50, has turned himself over to a team of counselors who are “assessing his spiritual, emotional and mental condition,” said the Rev. H.B. London, who is helping to guide Haggard through the process. London and two other pastors will then set out a rigorous “restoration plan” requiring Haggard to spend hours each week in counseling, Bible study, prayer and soul-baring talks — by phone or in person — with his mentors.

The team’s first task will be to push Haggard to acknowledge any addictions and come to an honest understanding of his sexuality. “Ted is not in touch with reality,” said the Rev. Mark Cowart, a friend. The mentors can confront Haggard or rebuke him forcefully; they may also ask him to submit to a polygraph test.

“Ted says he’s not a homosexual,” said the Rev. Mike Ware, a good friend. “The restoration team wants experts to evaluate that.”

And by “evaluate,” Haggard’s rehab team means they’ll first find out if he is gay, and then try and “cure” him if he is. As the LAT noted, James Dobson said Haggard’s “healing process” will “probably aim to eliminate any homosexuality.”

Stay tuned.

The same people designing Haggard’s “healing process” continue to insist that homosexuality is a choice.

It’s hard to feel sorry for these hypocrites when they get exposed, but this is getting to me. All that poor Haggard has to do is say “Yes, I’m gay. I always was and i always will be.” Everyone would understand and forgive him.

Well, almost everyone.

  • I have a question for the good Reverend Hinn: Why does God hate amputees?

    For this experiment, we need to find a deserving person who has had both of his legs amputated. For example, find a sincere, devout veteran of the Iraqi war, or a person who was involved in a tragic automobile accident.

    Now create a prayer circle like the one created for Jeanna Giese. The job of this prayer circle is simple: pray to God to restore the amputated legs of this deserving person. I do not mean to pray for a team of renowned surgeons to somehow graft the legs of a cadaver onto the soldier, nor for a team of renowned scientists to craft mechanical legs for him. Pray that God spontaneously and miraculously restores the soldier’s legs overnight, in the same way that God spontaneously and miraculously cured Jeanna Giese and Marilyn Hickey’s mother.

    If possible, get millions of people all over the planet to join the prayer circle and pray their most fervent prayers. Get millions of people praying in unison for a single miracle for this one deserving amputee. Then stand back and watch.

    What is going to happen? Jesus clearly says that if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. He does not say it once — he says it many times in many ways in the Bible.

    And yet, even with millions of people praying, nothing will happen.

  • “I will just never understand why.”

    That’s my position on religion generally, along with all other con jobs. I guess if we weren’t hard-wired to behave like sheep we’d have never made it as far as we have. Still, you’d think after all our education, and with all the different religions we can now observe (not to mention the intentionally fraudulent ones), sheer lack of evidence would have wiped out all theistic belief by now (as it has, for adults, wiped out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny).

    What’s to be afraid of living in a godless universe? Other forms of life seem to accept their fate … why can’t we? If there is some other “plane of existence” it’s so far beyond ours as to be incomprehensible and irrelevant anyway. The Founding Fathers had it right: do good in this world and let all the rest of the more-harm-than-good claptrap and unprovable mumbo-jumbo go. You’ll be much, much happier. So will everybody else.

  • The way Dubya’s fortunes have fallen, it would appear he’s losing something in the translation in his conversations with the almighty.

  • “Ted says he’s not a homosexual,” said the Rev. Mike Ware, a good friend. “The restoration team wants experts to evaluate that.”

    I nominate Dan Savage.

  • “There is still an enemy that would like to launch an attack on us and I am doing that job along with a lot of other really good people.”

    Was anyone else left with the impression from this sentence that Bush and his “really good people” are the ones whose job it is to attack us? You’re doing a damn fine job attacking this nation, George.

  • “I feel it.” – George W. Bush

    “Maybe it’s the cool soothing white noise in his head.”- me

  • BUSH: Because the load is not heavy, I guess is the best way to describe it.

    That’s not because the prayers of others are lightening your load, nimrod. It’s because you’re a sociopath. So all the carnage you create is just somebody else’s problem. You couldn’t care less.

  • Bush: “I also remind them, Brit, that Laura and I are sustained by the prayers of millions of people. Now that’s hard for some to – I guess chew on.”

    Not so much… we pray for Bush and all of our country’s leaders at my church (fairly mainstream Protestant – our denomination has prayed for the nation’s leaders for many, many years)…

    In my case I pray for Bush to open his eyes to reality and for the rest of those in DC to wake up, get a spine, etc.

    Praying for someone doesn’t necessarily mean you support them.

  • “Ted says he’s not a homosexual … The restoration team wants experts to evaluate that.”

    “You can’t prove it. All I can tell you is I feel it.”

    I just thought these quotes belonged together.

    Hey, if George Will can do it…

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