This Week in God

It was a busy week for God-related news, let’s get right to it. First up from the God Machine is a news item from Federal Way, Washington, where a Seattle suburban school board has banned Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” because of complaints from a local religious activist.

“Condoms don’t belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He’s not a schoolteacher,” said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven children who doesn’t want the film shown at all.

“The information that’s being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is,” Hardison told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. “The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn’t in the DVD.”

Hardison reportedly hasn’t seen the film, but asked the school board to ban it anyway. What’s worse, school board members, none of whom have seen the movie, agreed.

I can’t help but wonder how many textbooks in Federal Way also fail to include the Biblical perspective on matters of science. Are they next on the chopping block?

Next up is a disconcerting story from Morton, Texas, about some local folks who believe they’ve seen the “Virgin Mary” made of ice drippings inside a freezer at a grocery store. (thanks to Rege for the tip)

It started as one drip from the ceiling of a freezer at Morton Thrifty Foods grocery store. Now it has become quite the sanctuary for a lot of Catholic believers. “I wanted to cry when I saw it,” said Stephan Santos, who was visiting the ice formation. “My mom has all saints in her house. But this one just got to me.”

Store employee Alma Avalos first spotted the formation in the back freezer of her store, noticing what had been a few drops of water from the ceiling that had frozen. “I went in there, and it started forming like some kind of ice, and then Friday I went in there, and it was shaped like that,” Avalos said.

As more and more people heard about the “Virgin Mary,” they started coming in droves to see her, and the grocery store moved her into a freezer in the frozen foods section.

Some have had their prayers answered after visiting the ice statue. “I had a lump in my breast, and yesterday, when I went home, it disappeared. I don’t have it no more,” said one woman.

Where to begin. First, I wish the local media wouldn’t report uncritically that “some have had their prayers answered after visiting” the ice blob. It’s just irresponsible. Second, the one thing that’s always struck me as odd in seeing religious imagery in trees, warped glass, grilled-cheese sandwiches, and chocolate blobs is that they’re depictions of depictions. No one knows what Mary looked like, of course, but people have seen artists’ renderings of what they imagined she looked like.

With this in mind, are these “signs” from God or signs from 16th century painters?

For that matter, if Mary, or Jesus, or whomever, really wanted to offer believers a sign, couldn’t they come up with a slightly less oblique method? (The local CBS affiliate has posted a picture of the ice drippings) And if it is a sign, what is it a sign of? That we’re supposed to use more ice? Or less?

The LA Times recently had a piece on this phenomenon. It even has a name: pareidolia, the perception of patterns where none are intended. And according to Stewart Guthrie, one of a handful of professors who have studied it, such perceptions are part of the way human beings are “hard-wired.” Guthrie explained, “It’s really part of our basic perceptual and cognitive situation…. It has to do with all kinds of misapprehensions that there is something human-like in one’s environment, when really there’s not.”

And finally this week, my friends at Right Wing Watch noted this week that everyone’s favorite TV preacher, Pat Robertson, is losing his like-minded friends at an increasingly fast clip.

It’s downright embarrassing,” said Todd Spitzer, pastor at Regeneration in Oakland and Dolores Park Church in San Francisco. “When he makes these statements and ties God’s name to it, he’s like the self-proclaimed spokesman for God and evangelical Christianity. It’s an obstacle to us when we want to present a reasonable faith.”

The more outrageous or quirky the comment, the quicker it zips into newspapers and television news programs and floods the Web. The result, evangelical ministers say, is that sincere believers get tarnished in the process.

The Bay Area, despite perceptions to the contrary, has dozens of evangelical churches, including many of the region’s largest. Evangelical ministers said they are constantly battling stereotypes of evangelicals as uncritical thinkers who are “marching lockstep to some leader.” They said Robertson’s comments only strengthen those misperceptions.

The sooner Robertson loses his allies, the better.

Robertson will not die a peaceful death. It’ll be downright ugly. Barbaric. Medieval, even. But then again, that’s what happens, when you get bitch-slapped out a high-rise window and into the path of a bus—by God.

  • It’s things like that ice drippings claim that make me glad I’m no longer a christian. Why is it that every single vaguely humanoid shape is Mary and everything that might have a beard looks like Jesus? And bringing it gifts, praying to it, well jesus.

    Pareidolia is the word to remember, here’s (another) article written when Phil Plait discovered Lenin in his shower.

    Given how much these things tend to sell for though, be on the lookout for them.

  • I can hardly wait for Dobson’s coming out party – whether it’s homosexuality, promiscuity, drugs, just bring it on out now. But then maybe his sin is simply pride.

  • We have become a nation of idiots.

    This only shows that education in the United States is worthless.
    Spineless schoolboard members waiting to move up the political ladder, to councilmember, to mayor, to state rep, to congress, to president, or CEO.

    Bush, Cheney, Rice, Lay, DeLay, Wolfowitz, Feith, Bechtel, Rumsfeld, Phd., Casey, Halliburton, CPA, CIA, FBI , blackhawk, Tyco, When will it end??

  • “The information that’s being presented is a very cockeyed view of what the truth is,” Hardison told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. “The Bible says that in the end times everything will burn up, but that perspective isn’t in the DVD.”

    That would be because the film is actually based on science-not religious conjecture. As for the dripping ice Virgin Mary, perhpas she is supposed to be a sign of global warming in which case then, Al Gore 1, Mr. Hardison 0.

  • “Condoms don’t belong in school, and neither does Al Gore. He’s not a schoolteacher,” said Frosty Hardison, a parent of seven children who doesn’t want the film shown at all.

    Ah paranormal Signs of the Idiocracy! Frosty, if 5 of those kids of yours are not adopted, you need to quit reproducing immediately. With 7 kids condoms obviously aren’t allowed in your bedroom either.

    Watch a Freakin’ Movie Before You Ban It. It ain’t Latin but it should be engraved over every school house.

    Next up is a disconcerting story from Morton, Texas, about some local folks who believe they’ve seen the “Virgin Mary” made of ice drippings inside a freezer at a grocery store. (thanks to Rege for the tip)

    And Ice Drip sculptor, Theo Goghguin, leaves the scene of his most recent performance-art event, giggling.

    With this in mind, are these “signs” from God or signs from 16th century painters?

    LOL! Among ice drip portraits that didn’t make the news this week:
    A weeping Soupy Sales formed in recent melting of the Great Colorado Snow Storm.
    A likeness of Kat Stevens appearing on a mosque window in Des Moines.
    A brief picture of Al Gore showed up limned in the ice cracks of the last bit of melting ice cap on Mt Kilimanjaro.

  • The “author” that the school board member offers as another view of global warning is John Stossel, co-host of 20-20.

  • Whenever I read things like that Virgin Mary story I’m reminded of the scene in Fellini’s “La Dolce Vita” where the media create mass hysteria following little kids who claim to be having visions of the Virgin. At one point the boy and girl sneak a peek at each other and giggle. Thus Fellini shows us that the apparition is really a media fraud. Our *modern* media seem unwilling to show us such respect.

  • I live in Seattle. I have it on good authority that of the five-person Federal Way school board, four are conservative Mormons. Although the suburbs are more conservative than Seattle itself, this concentration of like-minded religious conservatives is decidedly NOT representative of the population of Federal Way.

  • Re Virgin Mary of the Freezer: so, what happens if there’s a long term power break? A virgin puddle?

    It’s an obstacle to us when we want to present a reasonable faith.” Todd Spitzer, pastor (third story)

    A “reasonable faith”? What’s that? Faith and reason are not compatible; you can’t reason someone into believing a whole lot of stuff for which there’s no empirical evidence.

  • Wait, the name of the character who wanted the movie about global warming banned is named Frosty?

    Really? (someone call rewrite.)

    And the theological message in having Mary appear in ice? That maybe cooling down would be a good idea? Hmm.

    God, he makes the small joke, n’est-ce pas?

  • A school board that bans access to information considered critical to future generations of people? I thought the West was supposed to be enlightened. The town should be renamed “Taliban Way”.

  • “The sooner Robertson loses his allies, the better.” Also, the sooner Robertson loses his funding (taken involuntarily) from cable TV suscribers, the better.

  • “Condoms don’t belong in school”

    I know that it’s not the point of this piece, but they totally ignore to specify why condoms don’t belong in schools. I don’t see how they increase the risk for STDs and teenage pregnancies. Oh right, if kids can’t have safe sex they won’t have sex at all… in the religious right’s dreams.

  • The first thing I thought of when I read about the BVM ice-sculpture was the famous line in The Wizard of Oz:

    “I’m melting, melting!!!”

    My favorite case of this strange form of delusion however remains the face of Jesus that many travelers claimed to see in a forkful of spaghetti (sp?) pictured on a roadside restaurant billboard.

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