This Week in God

First up from the God Machine is a news item that sounds apocryphal, but a) it appeared in a fairly credible newspaper; and b) I can’t find any reports debunking it.

The letter “X” soon may be banned in Saudi Arabia because it resembles the mother of all banned religious symbols in the oil kingdom: the cross.

The new development came with the issuing of another mind-bending fatwa, or religious edict, by the infamous Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice — the group of senior Islamic clergy that reigns supreme on all legal, civil, and governance matters in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

The commission’s damning of the letter “X” came in response to a Ministry of Trade query about whether it should grant trademark protection to a Saudi businessman for a new service carrying the English name “Explorer.”

“No! Nein! Nyet!” was the commission’s categorical answer.

Why? Well, never mind that none of the so-called scholars manning the upper ranks of the religious outfit can speak or read a word of English. But their experts who examined the English word “explorer” were struck by how suspicious that “X” appeared. In a kingdom where Friday preachers routinely refer to Christians as pigs and infidel crusaders, even a twisted cross ranks as an abomination.

If this story is true, it has to be one of the stranger religion stories I’ve ever seen in a long while. Banning an “X” because it reminds someone of a cross? Wouldn’t it make more sense — if, by “sense,” you mean following a twisted strain of logic — to ban a lower-case “t”?

Next up is a story by way of my friend Ron Chusid, about the soon-to-be-open, $27 million creationist museum, where visitors can learn how “true” The Flintstones really were.

Ken Ham’s sprawling creation museum isn’t even open yet, but an expansion is already underway in the state-of-the art lobby, where grunting dinosaurs and animatronic humans coexist in a Biblical paradise.

A crush of media attention and packed preview sessions have convinced Ham that nearly half a million people a year will come to Kentucky to see his Biblically correct version of history.

“I think we’ll be surprised at how many people come,” Ham said as he dodged dozens of designers working to finish exhibits in time for the May 28 opening.

The $27 million project, which also includes a planetarium, a special-effects theater, nature trails and a small lake, is privately funded by people who believe the Bible’s first book, Genesis, is literally true.

For them, a museum showing Christian schoolchildren and skeptics alike how the earth, animals, dinosaurs and humans were created in a six-day period about 6,000 years ago — not over millions of years, as evolutionary science says — is long overdue.

Officials at the “museum” are aware of the fact that they’re being mocked and ridiculed for spending $27 million to build a center to present pseudoscience, but they don’t seem to mind.

“Mocking publicity is free publicity,” spokesman and vice-president Mark Looy said.

People behind the attraction also admit that the “museum’s” mission is to “share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with nonbelievers.” Indeed, Looy acknowledged that they’ve hired a chaplain, who’ll be on hand to help convert visitors in need of “guidance.”

As for why a non-believer would pay money to visit the center, no one’s quite sure.

Lousy choice. No more se*. Have to get rid of all those friends in Te*as. Toss out that fa* machine and avoid takeout that comes in bo*es. Don’t even think ma*ing out the credit card.

  • If the Saudis ban the letter X, won’t ExxonMobil be spit out of luck? Will the Saudis tear up existing contracts?

  • Mwahaa. Very nice PW. But one advantage: No more ta*es!

    …where grunting dinosaurs and animatronic humans coexist in a Biblical paradise.

    Being immature my first question is of course will the humans be naked? According to Genesis, clothing didn’t come into vogue until right before the party in Paradise was O-V-E-R.

    But maybe visitors can finally find out who the hell Cain married. Every Book of Genesis I’ve ever seen fails to explain the folks in the Land of Nod. Perhaps one of the displays will feature angels getting busy with human ladies. Who knows, there might be giants.

  • and if you go to saudi arabia, remember to bring your visa card. ’cause they don’t take american e*press!

  • As for why a non-believer would pay money to visit the center, no one’s quite sure.

    Hey, I would pay to see that as long as it was less than $10.

  • re: ‘The letter “X” soon may be banned in Saudi Arabia because it resembles the mother of all banned religious symbols in the oil kingdom: the cross.’

    why does the above remind me of the bullshit about the Flight 93 memorial reminding assholes of a Muslim crescent?

    nb: these xxxxx are kisses, not crosses. just sayin’ and LMFAO.

  • The problem really arises as there isn’t the letter X in the arabic alphabet so how to translate X has always been an issue. But to decide to do away with it because it resembles the cross is just about as crazy as invading Iraq to look for WMD.

    Just watching to see if O’Really covers this on Fo* News!

  • I wonder if they would allow a scientifically minded person to take children around and tell them this isn’t how it happened in the same way as that creationist takes children around real natural history museums and tells them that it didn’t happen this way as all animals were created as they are today by god.

  • Okay that’s it. I’m banning the suspiciously crescent-looking C from all my correspondence with the Saudis also.

    Reminds me of Catch 22 when Yossarian was censoring letters home from the soldiers. “Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective. The next day he made war on articles. He reached a much higher plane of creativity the following day when he blacked out everything in the letters but a, an and the. That erected more dynamic intralinear tensions, he felt, and in just about every case left a message far more universal. ”

    “Words are your enemy. Don’t play their game.” Zoolander

  • I’d go to the Creatiionist Museum ifI were in the neighborhood, just as I go see funny movies and read satirical books. It might be a hoot.

    Religionists might be better off to stop obsessing about “revelations” from the past and pay attention to the relevations of life that are being made every day. I’ll take one rainbow or a smile over any number of creation myths.There’s plenty of wonder you can ascribe to God every day if you’re not blinded by dogma and the past. That’s our sermon for today.

  • Come to think of it, the Italians have always gotten along well enough without the X. So the Saudis may not take American Express, but they can still enjoy a nice espresso.

  • And people wonder why Saudis are the dumbest Arabs you can meet. I mean that seriously. You used to run across a lot of them here in L.A. before 9/11. In the schools they came to, they were routinely the ones who contributed nothing in class, and I have it on good authority that the term paper mill industry has been in a tailspin since they stopped coming here in 2002, since they were the prime client demographic for all the professional plagiarists.

    Coming from a religion that has a Committee for the Promotion of Ignorance and the Prevention of Intelligence proves why that was the case.

  • Genesis is a collection of Chaldean creation myths collected by the Jews during the Babylonian captivity when they finally decided they should sit down and write their religion before it was lost, when they thought they would never get back to Israel. Even Jewish religious scholars will tell you this (in fact, I learned it from a book about Judaism written by a Rabbi).

  • They need to be reminded of Malcolm X, who left the Nation of Islam and became a traditional Muslim.

  • Dale: Okay that’s it. I’m banning the suspiciously crescent-looking C from all my correspondence with the Saudis also.

    oh my…LOL, Dale. 🙂

  • Ken Ham’s P.T. Barnum approach to pseudo science helps explain why the radical right is so against abortion: that fetus could be the sucker that was to born on a particular minute.

    “Mocking publicity is free publicity.” I’m sure these guys will be laughing all the way to the collection plate.

    “Okay that’s it. I’m banning the suspiciously crescent-looking C from all my correspondence with the Saudis also.” – Dale

    That’ll have Alberto scratching his head when he reads your mail.

  • Will the planetarium have the earth as the center of the universe fixed in space, a la Aristotle and Ptolemy? I will be interested in how they will make the Earth look flat.

    And on another note, if these are the same people that believe that the Bible is the literal truth as written, I don’t remember the Bible saying BOO about dinosaurs or other species – if it did can you tell me where I want to read it. So, how do justify creating a biblical scene with dinosaurs? I am afraid the “logic” confounds me. I guess I can just put it down to lying to the idiots that would actually pay money for that crap.

  • In the midst of all the sturm und drang here’s something to take your mind off all this. It’s cute.

    Have you ever noticed when you use your computer first thing in the morning, the icons appear to be in a different place than when you left? Have you sensed that something goes on if you leave your computer on overnight? Well, when you go to bed at night and forget to shut down your computer, I think you ought to know what actually goes on. For the first time, someone has captured what takes place after you leave the room.

    http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm

  • Regarding the museum, it appears that the “milk-the-dummies-for-every-penny” crowd has come up with something else besides casinos (and gasoline pills) to exacerbate the divide between the classes. When are the people who go to these places finally going to run out of money so that mega-churches, creationist museums, etcetera are no longer economically viable?

  • Never mind the x; Exxon can go back to its old name, and I’m sure they can find ways of propagating without having se*. But what are they going to do about math? Specifically, the plus sign? That sucker isn’t even sideways to pretend something it’s not…

    That’s what happens when fanatics — no matter of what — take over. They’re always more interested in the trappings than in the essence of their beliefs.

  • I think it’d be a total hoot to visit that “museum” with my two kids (now 20 and 22, though ten years ago it would’ve been even funnier). I’m sure there are some unbelievers like us who will go for the laughs, and I’m wondering how the staff will handle it. I smell some bizarre stories ahead…

  • Gosh, people—you missed the big one. By banning “x,” Saudi Arabia won’t be able to sell their oil any more—because they’ve banned “e*ports.”

  • Somewhere out there, a village idiot is short about $27 million dollars that he will never see again in his lifetime. I can imagine on opening day a few true believers trickling in with confused grins on their faces because they thought they were going to Disneyland and took a wrong turn somewhere.

    Frankly, I would go just for the fun of wandering around singing, “Flintstones, meet the Flintstones, they’re a modern Stone Age fam-i-ly….From the town of Bedrock, they’re a page right out of his-to-ry…:”

    That would be funnier than h*ll. 😉

  • I don’t believe the Saudi ‘banning X’ story as presented in your excerpt, and expect a debunking (or large clarification) at some point.

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