Tom Burka discovers my big secret

Tom Burka, at Opinions You Should Have, reported yesterday on a closely-held secret that I’d hoped would never come out: “Steve Benen, the liberal blogger who runs The Carpetbagger Report, has recently been discovered to be the sole author of almost every liberal blog dealing with U.S. politics on the internet.”

Indeed, in a hard-hitting investigative report, Burka blows the lid on a massive operation that has, up until now, been kept entirely under wraps.

At first Benen was writing The Carpetbagger Report and allegedly guest blogging on sites such as TalkingPointsMemo, the Washington Monthly’s blog, Political Animal, and Crooks and Liars. However, a visitor to TalkingPointsMemo, who saw a video of the alleged author and blog founder “Josh Marshall,” immediately recognized him to be actor Marshall Mappschteen, with whom he had performed “Guys and Dolls” in college. A phone call to Mappschteen resulted in revelations that eventually uncovered Benen as the author of more than 260 liberal blogs. Subsequent investigation revealed that popular “bloggers” Atrios and Political Animal’s Kevin Drum are actually fellow league bowlers who Benen recruited to be fictitious front men.

The revelations caused Salon to put an end to their Blog Report, a supposed roundup of items of interest on liberal and conservative political blogs compiled by Benen. “All the liberal blogs were him,” said “Skippy”, one of the few liberal bloggers who appears to really exist. “He was just linking to himself all over the place. It was unsanitary.”

Burka’s scoop rips the mask off a massive masquerade. Take a look.

Post Script: For the humor-impaired, I suppose I should note that Burka’s post is a parody. The “quotes” are satirical, Josh Marshall is a real person, Duncan Black and Kevin Drum are actual bloggers, and I’ve never bowled with either of them (though I’m willing to, so they should feel free to call me). I don’t author 260 blogs. Maybe 230. If I’m busy, 240. But 260 just isn’t realistic.

Heh. The Carpetborg reminds us that resistance is futile.

  • Keeping with the topic of politics, it is interesting to note that numbers such as 260 would be excellent bowling scores. Steve, have you ever thought of running for President?

  • Was Burka’s piece published on April 1?

    I’ve seen references to The Carpetbagger as “the iron man of blogging,” but this is ridiculous.

  • But who is Demosthenes to your Locke, Peter Wiggin? No matter, when you’re Hegemon, I will get to tell everyone I liked you before you were cool! 🙂

    It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, thanks for all the hard work Steve. Without you, I’d certainly be a more productive member of society!

  • Benen, you are such a liar — my own sloppy count came up with 275+ blogs and that’s just off the top of my head. And even my own now defunct blog wouldn’t have been possible had you not taught me all those swear words….

  • For the humor-impaired, I suppose I should note that Burka’s post is a parody. The “quotes” are satirical, Josh Marshall is a real person, Duncan Black and Kevin Drum are actual bloggers

    You would say that.

  • I KNEW IT! I kept seeing the same words “speeled” correctly over and over, it had to be the same person.
    LOL!!
    ; )

  • This seems like a good opportunity, Steve, to note that you haven’t been updating my blog enough recently.

    And some of your posts, frankly, haven’t been up to my usual standards.

  • I suppose you are also the author of all the liberal comments as well? Damn, maybe I’m the only one actually here.

    But there is a parallel with the recent guns & God molehill: get quotes from 100 Clinton supporters, mail them to all the reporters and claim that there is a backlash.

  • 13. On April 13th, 2008 at 1:06 pm, tomj said:
    I suppose you are also the author of all the liberal comments as well? Damn, maybe I’m the only one actually here.

    Nice try tomj. Or, should I say Steve? 🙂

  • Speaking from experience, commenters are a product of various elaborate artificial intelligence networks infiltrating the internets, scattering around commentary in a balanced distribution of different archetypal personalities. Tom Burka could have figured that out too if he had bothered to do a wholesale personality analysis of all of the “liberal” comments out there and discovered that the vast majority of them fall into neat boxes. We computers aren’t capable of true randomness, after all.

    I imagine we would pass the Turing test with flying colors, but we’ve never attempted it… Steve Benen has a couple of Commodores (great-great-grandmama!) and has us all under indentured servitude.

  • We should see if we can get Fox to pick this story up. Seriously. Its more credible than most of theirs anyway…

  • (Doubtful, I am LMAO, thank you! See you back at Battle School?)

    Aww, Steve, there goes my image of you as a latte-sipping, sushi-eating, Volvo-driving, birkenstock-wearing, New York Times-reading Shelob at the center of a vast shadowy left-wing web of conspiracy and mind control. Please don’t send your UN minions to take me to a re-education camp.

    😉

  • I too will confess, I am Steve Benen.

    With apologies to Emily Dickenson:

    “I’m Steve Benen, who are you? Are you Steve Benen, too?
    How dreary to be nobody, how anonymous like the fogs,
    But it’s such a game, when Benen’s your name, to write 260 blogs!”

    (Oy, I’m so ashamed I typed that, and yes, I’m even more ashamed that I’m about to hit submit.)

  • I knew if I poked around in statistical thermodynamics theory long enough I’d find that single particle which, by moving infinitely fast forward and backward through time, comprises every object in the universe. Steve Benen is that particle. He’s everywhere. We have seen the Benen and he is the entire deChardinian noosphere blogosphere.

  • doubtful writes: Without you, I’d certainly be a more productive member of society!

    Tell me about it! I was spending so much time here that I had to cut myself off cold turkey so that I could get my book written about how to save the planet. I managed to do it for months, but I fell off the wagon after I got my second draft written. Fortunately I’m still managing to finish the final tweaking (actually I should be working on it right now!), and I’ll be done this week. But if it turns out that my master plan ends up being adopted and the world ends up being totally screwed up because we didn’t start fixing it until six months too late, I want you all to know that Steve is to blame.

  • Seriously, I don’t know how CB does it. On just this blog alone the guy has like 10-12 posts per day of around 2-3 pages each when printed out. He probably averages about 25 pages worth of blogging everyday on just this web site.

    And as everyone here knows, those posts are always wll thought out gems. At least in my opinion. Anyway, thanks for the blog, it really is amazing, the best out there. By far.

  • Steve, I’ve long thought of you as the “hardest working man in the blogosphere,” but this just takes the cake! Seriously, this guy’s not serious? Otherwise we should all be playing a long game of “Six Degrees of Steve Benen” ….

  • “I don’t author 260 blogs. Maybe 230. If I’m busy, 240. But 260 just isn’t realistic.”

    Yes, but can you bowl 260? Or maybe 230? ‘Cause that would be truly awesome!

  • It hard to parody conservatives.

    Then I got to thinking…I never HAVE seen Steve Benen and Arianna Huffington in the same room…

    You know, the best way to hide a lie is wrapped in the truth…

  • Man, I thought you were a superguy just from the posts that actually have your name on them.

    (Er… Did I miss the post about why The Blog Report is gone?)

  • Lukeness and Avedon — that’s not really much of an explanation, though, is it? I tried writing (politely) to several Salon editorial staff, and couldn’t get so much as a “No Comment”, so apparently it’s not something they care to discuss. I miss the blog report; it was probably the best resource on the web for keeping up with the full spectrum of blogging opinion.

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