Tuesday’s Mini-Report

October 17, 2006

Today’s edition of quick hits.

* It’s hard to believe House Homeland Security Chairman Peter King (R-N.Y.) would seriously tell a group of voters that “the situation [in Iraq] is more stable than you think,” and that being in Baghdad is “like being in Manhattan,” but it’s true. I’ve seen the video.

* With his chances at re-election dimming, Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) is getting increasingly odd. Yesterday, he told the editorial board of the Bucks County Courier Times that the war in Iraq is similar to Lord of the Rings. Worse, Santorum said we haven’t been attacked since 9/11 because the “Eye of Mordor” has been focused on Iraq. No, I don’t know what that means, either.

* Heard the rumors about another House Republican with a page problem? The rumors are apparently referring to Rep. Jim Kolbe (R-Ariz.).

* White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said there would be no signing statement to go along with the torture bill because Congress “did a really good job this time.” Great, the one time Bush is happy is the one time he gets the authority to decide what torture is. Marty Lederman had an excellent post on the subject.

* Once again, support for the war has reached yet another all-time low.

* It’s one thing for Rep. Curt Weldon (R-Pa.) to be a crook. But does he need to be a paranoid crook?

* What is it with Republicans worrying so much about liberal bumper-stickers? (thanks to SKNM for the tip)

* I’m pleased to report violent video games can, once again, be purchased in Oklahoma.

* It’s true, James Madison, were he alive today, would not be at all fond of the tax breaks and government funding that goes to “faith-based” charities.

* Speaking of Weldon, to equate his pending corruption charges with Harry Reid’s non-scandal is truly ridiculous, even by the standards of the broadcast news media.

* Kevin is sick of the phrase, “full disclosure.” I’m sick of the phrase, “October surprise.”

* National Character Counts Week? Seriously?

* I’ve heard of fantasy football; I know a lot of people who play fantasy baseball; but “Fantasy Congress” is a new one for me.

If none of these particular items are of interest, consider this an end-of-the-day open thread.

Am I the only one who has noticed all of the stories on the Kolbe investigation run thusly:

Kolbe, who is gay, went on rafting trip with two male pages! (Shock! Horror!)
Well, they weren’t pages at the time of the trip. But did we mention Kolbe is gay?
And … over half a dozen other people were also on this trip.
Including Kolbe’s sister. But he’s gay!

I guess we’re supposed to think Rafting trip = Deliverance = Squeal like a pig, because it is already supposed to be a given that Gay = Horn dog = Pedophile. Liberal media my big hairy ass.

And am I the only who doubts the DOJ is furricking through interactions between hetero Congressmembers and pages? I strongly believe this is nothing more than a witch hunt meant to distract people from Who Knew What When about Foley and scare other G/L members of the GOP into being veeewy quiet. So far the only thing the Kolbe investigation has in common with the Foley investigation is:
1. Both subjects are gay men.
2. …Uh…

I think they should open an investigation on Rick “Man-on-dog” Santorum. What the flaming hell is he sprinkling on his corn flakes? He should know that in the minds of people dim enough to vote for him those books are full of magic and wizards which = Satan Worship, pre-maritial sex and listening to rock records.

  • AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sweet Jesus, Rick gets better ever frickin’ day.

    Well, he has the “thirty-something geeks still living in their parents’ basement” vote.

  • if you’re from buffalo, manhattan is EXACTLY like baghdad: far to the east, and full of scary brown people.

  • Santorum said we haven’t been attacked since 9/11 because the “Eye of Mordor” has been focused on Iraq. No, I don’t know what that means, either.

    The reference is made clear in the movie version of Return of the King. Aragorn leads the armies of Gondor and Rohan in a frontal assault against the Black Gate, thus distracting Sauron from Frodo, who is carrying the Ring ever closer to Mount Doom. It was the original Flypaper Strategy.

  • Hey Ricky, I thought a good wackado like you didn’t use LOTR metaphors because they’re books about the devil. Something about DND (which is based on LOTR) being the gateway to Satan.

    Why don’t you quote Harry Potter, too?

  • First off mellowjohn that is hilarious! Far to the east and full of brown people, you’re killing me.

    I would also like to add that fantasy congress looks like fun. Anyone want to join a league?

    Finally, Rick Santorum way to stay classy. I had Rick pegged as a Three Stooges kind of guy not Tolkein.

    Santorum: “We have not been attacked because Curly is looking at Moe’s thumb and that allowed Moe to club him in the melon with the iron. “

  • Santorum said that we are about to get attacked again, and that we are the bad guys (Eye of Mordor). (Yes I have a talant for translating jibberish)

  • Mellowjohn, nice line, except King is from Long Island, actually East of Manhattan. As I was reading this, I heard the Ed Koch commercial for King, which praises him for aupporting the Patriot Act, Wiretapping, and (racial, though he doesn’t use the word) profiling by airlines and law enforcement. You’d almost think he’d picked just those issues, even on Long Island, which were the most likely to inspire Democrats to vote against King.

    And, on the ‘open thread’ section, the MP (Marital Partner, I prefer the term to ‘spouse’) of Gerry Studds — who was a lifelong resident of Massachussets and legally married there — has been refused the pension rights for Studds’ Congressional service. (Which can apparently only be done in cases of treason or same-sex marriage, even a Congressman who is expelled and convicted retains their pension rights as does their spouse.) I’d love to know if he is going to fight the case, which might bring down the Defense of Marriage Act.

  • “Congress ‘did a really good job this time’.” – Snow

    Translation: Bush told Congress to bend over and brace or give him exactly what he wanted. They gave him exactly what he wanted.

  • Worse, Santorum said we haven’t been attacked since 9/11 because the “Eye of Mordor” has been focused on Iraq

    Eye of Morder = Bush?

    Hey, great headline – Santorum accuses Bush of orchestrating 9/11

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