Watching tonight’s State of the Union address

The Note mentioned some interesting context today for the State of the Union address from ABC News’ Polling Director Gary Langer:

1. “Partisans watch these things; rather than torturing themselves, people who don’t like the guy can just turn to another of their 100 channels. When we polled on the SOTU in 2003, we found that the president’s approval rating among speech watchers was 70 percent, versus 47 percent among those who didn’t watch. As we put it at the time: ‘Simply put, people who don’t like a particular president are considerably less apt to tune him in.'”

2. “These speeches tend to be composed of poll-tested applause lines, so the people who watch are already predisposed to like what they hear.”

It’s why we’ve seen fewer post-speech polls gauging the public’s reaction the past few years — the data was always skewed.

Of course, many of us will be tuning in anyway, despite our displeasure with the president. To help the speech “go down a little easier,” Heather Havrilesky Salon’s television critic, recommends a drinking game.

The game is simple enough for even your average registered voter to understand. Basically, every time Bush says “terror,” “terrorism,” “terrorist,” “war on terror” or “Terror Dome,” you drink.

Also drink when the president winks, nods and points at someone in the audience in rapid succession; drink each time he refers to 9/11 or uses the word “nuke-u-lar,” and drink something bitter when he says that “the state of our union is strong.” […]

When Bush says “protect” as in “protect America,” “protect the lives of Americans” or “protect our right to eavesdrop on the phone calls of any American,” drink. If he refers to his solemn right to spy on antiwar activists as the “Terrorist Surveillance Program,” drink three times.

Also, drink whenever the president uses the word “security,” as in the “security of all Americans” or “a secure nation.” If he mentions “Social Security,” turn the volume up; you didn’t hear him correctly. If he talks about “securing an exit strategy in Iraq,” drink, then look outside to see if the sky is falling.

Given what we’ve seen, this game is almost guaranteed to kill the player, so it’s probably best to avoid it, especially if you have a Health Savings Account.

So basically the best way to watch Bush’s SOTU is to drink yourself silly…

  • ThinkProgress just posted a bit that said without applause the speech ran about 36 minutes in practice runs, so that means 24 minutes of clapping time for the circus clowns in attendance.

    They better wear gloves or their hands are going to be mighty sore in the morning!!

  • You’d be under the table before he was done if you stuck to the first rule about terror.

  • Hmm – while not civil or “gasp” in the bi-partisan manner, now what would be really funny (not trying for any Kennedy/drinking jokes here) if the Democrat Senators followed this game in the chambers.

    Or some other displays of disaffection. Like the booing/heckling that occurs in the British parliament’s weekly question sessions w/the prime minister.

  • There’s no way I can have my beer and watch
    him, too. I’ll opt out, thank you very much.
    Beer should be enjoyed, not used to
    anesthetize oneself against horrible experiences.

    I’m reminded of an old gag story in Mad
    Magazine decades ago. It was a feature
    on the worst things that could happen to
    you. One of them was “Having to watch
    Bert Parks on television.” For those of you
    who go back that far, it should bring a good
    laugh. Today’s version would be having
    to watch George Bush on tv. I cannot stomach
    the guy. I simply cannot.

  • I wonder if the Democrats will be allowed to attend or will be stopped at the door for being potentially disruptive?

  • Drink two every time he hunches over and and droips his “Heh Heh” laugh.

    I will need to stop at the store on the way home. I only have a 12er in the fridge.

    Who wants to take the time to go back through the transcript and figure out how many 2-3 OZ sips one would have consumed? Good job for someone. What is Brownie doing?

  • I like this game. The best thing about it is that, if the SOTU goes as expected, I’d likely pass out long before the end of the speech.

    Pass the tequila and call the boss. Looks like I’ll be very hung over tomorrow.

  • If he gets boring in English (even with the drinking game), turning to the Spanish language channel carrying his message, makes things quite entertaining. That is, of course, only true if you are not fluent in Spanish. It’s actually the only way I can tolerate him. Or that my cats and neighbors can tolerate me tolerating him (otherwise I’m screaming at the TV and making obscene gestures).

  • LA Times seems to require registration to view the linked article, though it didn’t before. Hmm. This should still work.

    A New York Times opinion piece got me wondering: how much time will Bush’s speech be if you take away not only all the applause but all the fluff about “the introduction of audience members and ringing references to the founders”?

  • Damn I wish I could play this game. Unfortunately, I can’t drink while I’m recovering from last December’s head injury/stroke. Maybe I’ll find myself a Regal Moron doll and stick pins in it each indicated time. Bush claims to believe in the supernatural; if he’s right maybe he’ll die the death of a thousand cuts before the speech is over.

  • Unless this idiot is going to do the honorable thing and resign tonight, there is absolutely nothing that would make me tune in and listen to more lies coming from Bush’s mouth. Uncle Dick, Condi, and Rummy dancing naked behind Bush would not even tempt me.

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